The Right Girl One Shots
by Solo Ensemble
Summary: A series of approximately ten one shots pertaining to my completed story, "The Right Girl," focused on the romantic pairing of Johnny Zacchara and Nadine Crowell. All these one shots take place, naturally, after the end of that fic. Read that one first.
1. Bedtime Blues

**Note – **The first of approximately ten Johnny & Nadine one shots pertaining to the story _The Right Girl_. If you have not read that (completed) story, these will not make proper sense to you. All of these one-shots take place after that story ends.

**#1: Bedtime Blues**

Johnny Zacchara awoke with a start and blinked when he found his bedroom invaded by sunshine. He was at his apartment, this much was clear, and he was in bed, and he wasn't alone. He looked over to the side and saw Nadine sleeping peacefully, and the corner of his mouth curved down.

A quick glance at the clock told him her alarm would be going off in two minutes. Carefully, so as not to wake her prematurely, Johnny lifted the sheets and took a peek. He was wearing a pair of boxers and a t-shirt, no socks. He tugged a little and crossed his fingers as he looked over at her. Nadine was wearing her drawstring pants and a pink t-shirt, also no socks.

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit, shit, shit.

He exhaled slowly and lay back, numb. It had happened. He'd been dreading this day, and it was finally upon him. And the worst part was that nothing could be done to change it. He just had to accept this like a man and face the consequences, face what this all meant.

Oh, shit, shit, shit.

Johnny cringed when the alarm went back and slowly roughly, feeling her stir next to him. Nadine let out a singing sigh and stretched, holding the position for three counts before relaxing. She propped herself up on her elbow, and her golden bangs fell in face. She smiled at him and tilted her head to the side.

"Mm. Morning."

Thankfully, she saved him from having to reply by stretching again, arching her back up like a cat. While Johnny appreciated the view, he was in no state to be nearly as responsive as he would have been otherwise.

"Wow, I can't believe how tired I was last night," she murmured, sitting up in bed. She tossed her hair over her shoulder and looked out the windows at the harbor. "Just a crazy shift. So, what are your plans for the day?"

His tongue felt thick in his mouth. "Uh, work."

"What a coincidence," Nadine smirked, throwing one leg off the side of the bed. "Same here. You don't have to leave for another two hours, right? In that case, I'm going to take my shower 

now. I said I'd meet Elizabeth and the girls for breakfast before work – she said she had something really big to tell us. I think she might be pregnant. You don't mind, do you?"

"That she's pregnant?"

His mind just wasn't working well right now.

"No," Nadine laughed aloud. "That I'm running off and leaving you all by your lonesome."

"Oh. Uh, no, no." Johnny cleared his throat. "You, um, you go ahead."

She stood up and frowned lightly down at him. "You all right?"

"Yeah. Yeah. Why, uh, why wouldn't I be?"

Nadine shrugged. "I don't know, you just sound a little weird. A little…dazed. Slow. You sure you managed to get some sleep last night?"

That was all they did, he thought to himself. "Yeah, yeah, I did. I'm fine."

She shot him a skeptical look but couldn't stay long, and Johnny relaxed only when he heard her turn the shower on. He settled back in bed and closed his eyes, shaking his head to himself.

Oh, shit, shit, shit.

* * *

"There's something seriously wrong with him."

Maxie took a big bite out of her roast beef sandwich and blinked at her. She and Nadine hadn't been able to hang out very much recently, so when Nadine invited her to have lunch with her in the hospital, Maxie had readily agreed.

"Like what?"

"I don't know." The nurse poked at her own turkey sub. "He was weird all day yesterday and all day today. I was going to go over to his place last night but he said something about having to work a little late, so we didn't even get to meet up. And this morning I had the late shift, but he just stayed at his place in Crimson Pointe, so I haven't seen him. And he returned my call, but just left me a short message saying he saw my missed call or whatever."

"Whenever Spinelli gets weird, I tell him to stop it," she announced, trying to be helpful as she nibbled on a French fry. "It works pretty well, 'cause he stops it."

"I don't think it's going to be that easy with Johnny," Nadine admitted, smiling despite herself. "He can be very…brooding. Very quiet and introspective."

"Sounds hot."

"It's not when something's obviously wrong and he won't tell me what," she sighed, pushing away her plate.

Maxie pushed it back at her and motioned for her to keep eating. "Okay, let's do this. Why don't you tell me when you first noticed that something was bothering him?"

"Well…" Nadine clicked her nails on the porcelain. "Yesterday, we woke up and he just seemed out of it. He was talking slow, looking confused or dazed or whatever, giving me really short answers. I asked him then if something was wrong and he said it wasn't anything."

Maxie, who had never been known for her bluntness. "Did you guys have sex the night before?"

Nadine blinked. "What?"

She leaned forward a little. "Did he do something you didn't like? Or vice versa? Did you fake it, and somehow he found out? Or…did he have trouble getting it up?"

"No! No, of course not, not any of those…things." Nadine shook her head vigorously. "In fact, we didn't even have sex. It was a perfectly normal, otherwise lovely night. I came over to his place after work, I ate dinner on his couch while he watched TV, he rubbed my shoulders, and then we went to bed. That's all."

"No sex, huh?" Maxie waved her fry in the air, crinkling her nose. "Is the sex bad?"

The nurse shuddered at her sympathetic tone. "No, not at all. The sex-" She lowered her voice slightly just in case anyone could overhear. "The sex is great. It's never been a problem. We're still kind of in that can't-keep-our-hands-off-each-other phase. The sex is just fine – and frequent."

"And yet, you say you didn't have sex that night."

"Well, no." She took a small bite of her sandwich just because she thought she should. "I mean, I got home late, he'd already eaten because he knew I was working late, and we were tired so we went to bed."

"You ever been at his place and not had sex?"

"Sure," Nadine scoffed. "Plenty of times. We've hung out, we've eaten there, gone out afterwards-"

"No, no." Maxie was smirking now, as if she had some idea of what was really going on. "I meant, have you ever spent the night at his place and not had sex?"

She stopped and thought about it before slowly replying, "…No, I guess not."

"And has he ever spent the night at your place when you two didn't have sex?"

"…No."

"So what that means…" Maxie took a big bite of her sandwich, which seemed to Nadine to be perfectly horrendous timing, and the nurse had no choice but to sit and wait until her friend was done chewing. "Every time you've spent the night together, you've had sex."

"That's being a little crude, but-"

"And yet that night, you slept together but you didn't _sleep _together." She arched a brow at her friend. "And you honestly don't see why he's being weird? From what you told me, you guys have been going at it hot and heavy, can't keep your hands off each other, that sort of thing. You've always had sex if you spent the night together. And then suddenly you didn't, and he's not used to that, so now he's afraid that the sexual connection or whatever is fizzling out of your relationship and it's going to be all Pottery Barns and TV dinners and watching each other pee. Spinelli got like that the first time we slept together without actually doing anything, so I just jumped his bones two days later and he was happy. Then I told him he was an idiot, but he was still happy. He's like a little woodland creature, always happy."

Nadine's lips parted in surprise, and she was clearly still processing the first bit of information. "You mean, he's freaked out that we spent _one_ night together where we didn't have sex? Seriously?!"

Maxie shrugged. "Boys are weird."

"Oh, my freaking…" She shook her head briskly. "Jeez, I never would have come up with that on my own. That boy's seriously freaked out because we spent one night together and I didn't do him. Unbelievable."

"Like I said." She took a bite of her sandwich and spoke around it. "Weird."

Nadine's lips were pressed together in a disgruntled, peevish line. "Un-freaking-believable. That stupid boy."

Maxie leaned forward when she saw her pull out her phone and flip it open. "What are you doing?"

Nadine smirked and started a new text message. "Fixing him."

* * *

Johnny sat at his piano, his hands poised on the keys, and tried to come up with something he wanted to play. He'd been sitting this way for the past ten minute, trying to come up with something, but the perfect tune evaded him.

All he could think about was the time that he was playing a Beethoven piece on this very piano about a month or so ago. He'd been so engrossed in it that he hadn't heard Nadine come in, and was taken altogether by surprise when interrupted his progress by slipping into his lap and straddling him silently. They got creative that night and ended up having sex right on the piano bench, all without saying a single word. It had been the hottest thing ever.

A part of him told him that he was being ridiculous, that one night of just sleeping together didn't mean that Nadine was bored with him, that he wasn't doing enough to please and excite her in bed anymore, that they were going to fall into a rut from which they'd never recover. But a larger part of him felt that this was legitimate cause for alarm.

It was also trying frantically to come up with something to play on this damn fucking piano.

He was saved from this dilemma, or so it seemed, by the buzzing of his phone. He wasn't getting a call, rather, but a text message. Johnny flipped his phone open and clicked the button to see the following:

_Hey you. I was so tired the night I crashed your place that I didn't even get to do what I'd been thinking about all day. Watch out when I come over tonight. I plan on totally jumping you. Love._

Johnny grinned at Nadine's perfectly punctuated text message and flicked the phone closed. He set it on top of the piano, still smiling, and finally let out a contented sigh. Resting his fingers on the keys once more, he cleared his throat and began to play.


	2. Bar Games

**Note – **I write a copious amount of alcohol being consumed in this short, and it's meant more as a device than anything plausible. Nadine and Claudia would probably die of alcohol poisoning if they drank this much. Suspend your reality, and don't bombard me with dumb messages about blood alcohol content. :-P

**#2: Bar Games**

Claudia had bought Coleman out for the night, so Jake's was closed to the public. The mob princess stood in the bar tender's place, dressed in a pair of skinny black jeans and a red t-shirt, with all sorts of bottles spread out on the counter around her. Nadine sat on the stool right across from her, swinging her legs excitedly.

"I can't remember the last time I went out and got totally smashed."

Claudia arched a brow at her as she pulled out two clean glasses. "I thought you and your gal pals from the hospital came here a lot for tequila shots."

Nadine shrugged. "Yeah, but that's different. We never get rip-roaring drunk. We all usually have work later the next day. Plus, Elizabeth and Robin have babies."

"Babies," the older woman snorted. "The death knells of happiness."

"I don't know." She propped her chin in her hand and shrugged. "Almost everyone I know that has kids says that it's the biggest blessing they could have ever imagined."

"We're not talking about babies tonight," Claudia announced loudly, not giving Nadine a moment to ponder her aversion to the subject. "We're going to find you a signature drink. Kiss in the Dark is mine – I only lent it to you because you were so pathetic as to not have one of your own. Tonight, we find you one of your own. Try this."

"Oooh." Nadine sniffed the drink she was handed and looked up. "What is it?"

"Zippy martini," she replied, taking a sip. "I think that whatever your signature drink turns out to be, it should contain vermouth. This is dry vermouth, Tabasco sauce, and vodka. Oof. Kicky."

The young nurse coughed on the spicy Tabasco. "Oh, dear God."

Claudia was sipping her calmly as Nadine commenced to hack up a lung. "Too rough? Let's dry something else."

She downed hers and tossed Nadine's in the sink, reaching for two more glasses. "Okay, watch what I'm mixing here. Bit of brandy, dry vermouth, Grenadine and orange juice, a little port, and white crème de cacao. Try this. Should be sweet and just a little tart."

"Like me," Nadine smiled happily, accepting the drink. "What's it called?"

"American Beauty."

They tossed their drinks down and smacked their lips, each one considering the taste.

"Well?"

Nadine tilted her head to the side. "Good, good, but a little too…creamy."

"You want something thinner?" Claudia was already reaching for two more clean glasses. "I think you might like this one. Dry Vermouth, gin, and lime juice."

"Don't skimp with me on the name."

"Uh…Princeton cocktail. Down the hatch."

They tossed back martini after martini, each one with a name more creative than the one before. Claudia certainly knew her way around a bar counter and in her quest for Nadine to claim her one and only signature drink to be specially prepared for her at all mob functions, she had her trying just about everything she could think of. Each cocktail consumed, in turn, flavored the conversation during the course of the night.

* * *

_Horse Thief…_

_2 dashes green Absinthe_

_½ pony Italian Vermouth_

_1 jigger Sir Robert Burnette's Old Tom Gin_

_Ice_

"What kind of girl honestly doesn't have her own drink?" Claudia shot Nadine a disparaging look as she strained a mixture into a martini glass and garnished it with an olive. "What did you drink when you went to parties?"

"Back on the farm? Hard lemonade." She grinned and accepted her drink. "That was a simple place, Claudie, you know? We had water, soda pop, or hard lemonade. Sometimes normal lemonade, but that was only when the whiskey ran out."

"Sounds like a shitty party."

"It was a lot of fun, actually. We always had tons of food – all slaughtered fresh that morning or afternoon, of course – and tons of drinks and lots of music and dancing. And there was cow-tipping sometimes. Um, square dancing. Let's see, picnics, hay rides, dance marathons, tractor runs, bareback horse races-"

Her dark eyes lit up. "John knows how to ride bareback."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, we have pictures of him bare-backing it at the villa on Lake Como." She sipped her drink and thought back. "I've always been too afraid, though. If I'm going to get on a horse, I need my white pants, my riding boots, my little jacket, those cute helmets, and a whip. If there's no saddle or cinch or reins, I'm so out of there."

"You have an accident when you were little?" Nadine asked sagely. "Or see someone have one?"

"My Uncle Rudy's son – his only child – fell off a horse when he was twelve. Broke his neck and died on the spot," she said softly.

Nadine blinked. "I'm so sorry. I can't imagine."

"I came to live with him about three months after it happened," she added, "and I think that was why he really took to me and started grooming me to take over. He didn't have anyone else left. And he never let me near the stables without at least two guards and two stable hands present. Ever since then…"

The young nurse nodded slowly. "Understandable."

The women sighed in unison and then, sensing they'd hit a moment that was too touching for comfort, downed their martinis in one go.

* * *

_Journalist Cocktail…_

_2 oz. Gin_

_0.5 oz. Sweet Vermouth_

_0.5 oz. Dry Vermouth_

_Dash of Cointreau_

_Dash of Lemon Bitters_

_2 dashes of Angostura Bitters_

_Ice_

Claudia and Nadine were pleasantly buzzed and starting to genuinely enjoy themselves.

"And the tabloids, my _god_," the older woman was ranting, "reading them's enough to give a girl a complex."

"I try to stay away from them," Nadine shuddered, sipping her drink. "They give me a headache. Plus, it's so surreal to see my name in them, you know? I mean, who am I? I'm nobody, that's who, and I don't belong in a tabloid."

"No self-respecting fish would ever want to be wrapped in one of them," Claudia continued. "I look at them from time to time just because I _hate_ it when people say something to me about what the tabloids say about me, and I have no clue and have to stand there like a slack-jawed idiot. Did you know, did you know, that according to those rags, Jake whats-his-face, Morgan's kid, is actually _mine_?"

Nadine's jaw dropped. "What?!"

Claudia nodded emphatically. "Get this shit. Just get this shit. Supposedly, I had sex with Jason when he was out of the country. We met up anonymously, not knowing who the other was, and had sex, right?"

"Like you and Sonny."

"I told you, I will douse you with gin and light a match if you ever bring that up again."

"Sorry, sorry, go on. I wanna hear."

"Right, so we had sex, right? And then I supposedly got knocked up, and then I figured out who Jason was during a very top-secret trip I made to town before Johnny showed up here, and he figured out who I was. He'd always wanted a kid since he raised little Chucky or whatever, Carly's oldest meal ticket, and I didn't want kids at all and was stuck with this little peanut, right?"

"Right, right. So how did the tabloids supposedly ignore that Elizabeth was pregnant all this time and that she gave birth to Jake?"

"Well, that's where those hacks get creative." Claudia leaned forward and tossed her hair over her shoulder. "See, Lizzie-face was pregnant with that meth-addict cop's kid, right? But he was in some kind of drug-induced rage and flipped out on her and she lost the baby. She didn't know how to tell him because she was afraid that he'd take more drugs and possibly kill her and _her_ oldest meal ticket, so she got a pillow baby and stuffed it up in there, hoping that he wouldn't notice. He didn't."

"…Okay…"

"And then meanwhile, I met up with Jason and was like, dude, I have your kid, could you rig up any way for me to not have him with me any longer? And you know how Morgan's had his eye on that Elizabeth girl since she was, like, a teenager, so he called her up and she wanted a baby to replace the one she lost, so I ended up giving my baby with Jason to Elizabeth, who pretended to deliver. It wasn't safe to reveal that the head of the organization here made a baby with the oldest Zacchara, so Elizabeth would raise the kid with Lucky."

"Stop the ride, I want to get off," Nadine groaned. "My head hurts."

"That's the gin," Claudia informed her pertly, waving her drink and accidentally sloshing some out of the glass. "And then, Elizabeth was, like, half in love with Jason anyway, or whatever, so they decided, screw Lucky, let's get together and raise Anthony Zacchara's grandson as a family along with the first little bastard."

Nadine was still groaning.

"I mean, forget the fact that the little brat is blonde-haired and _blue_-eyed!" Claudia let out a laugh. "Can you believe those idiots? Where the hell do they come up with that stupid shit? Just leave the boring-as-oatmeal Morgans alone – their kids are going to grow up and see that shit and it'll just suck."

"…That's actually surprisingly compassionate of you."

"Plus, it's a damned nuisance to me. Makes me look like a whore. Why can't they occasionally fact-check and get their details right?"

"They sure do make up the dumbest stories about you," the nurse couldn't help but tease with a grin. "At least you don't take it too seriously."

"By the way…" Claudia downed the rest of her cocktail and arched a brow at Nadine. "…According to this week's cover story, you and John got married in Tuscany that one weekend a year or two ago when you stole my Tesla and went to that country fair, race car thing, and now you're pregnant with sextuplets and planning to name them after all the children of the Brady Bunch."

The glass fell from Nadine's hand. "WHAT?!"

* * *

_Kitten's Whiskers…_

_1 oz. Gin_

_0.5 oz. Dry Vermouth_

_0.5 oz. Sweet Vermouth_

_0.5 oz. Orange Juice_

_0.5 oz. Grand Mariner_

_Dash of Angostura Bitters_

_Ice_

"Johnny wants us to get a dog."

Claudia arched a brow, her drink firmly in hand as she sat on the stool next to Nadine. She turned slightly and their knees bumped, but she barely noticed. "Together?"

"Together."

She sipped her cocktail. "That's a big step."

"See, it is and isn't," Nadine sighed.

"How do you figure?"

"Well, getting a dog together is a big deal." She took a sip of her drink and smacked her lips, liking it. "It's a big commitment. It's something that you take care of together, something you nurture and love. Like a baby."

"Right, right. Sounds like a big deal to me."

"Yeah, but it's not in the sense that…I don't know." Nadine shrugged. "It just feels natural at this point. We've been together for a long time, we share most of our lives already. It's not like he's just some boy I'm dating, you know? I could imagine sharing something as big – symbolically – as a dog with him and not having it be a big thing."

"That's good," Claudia told her honestly. "That you're not building it all up and putting a whole bunch of pressure on yourself and him, you know? It's just a dog. But at the same time, it's more. And that's okay with you guys."

"Yeah." The nurse smiled brightly, seeming as if she were lit from within (probably dangerous, considering just how much alcohol was also within). "It really is."

"So, you figured out what kind of dog you want?"

"I want one of those little ones," she said, placing her hands about nine inches apart. "You know, those cute little furry ones that you can put in a purse if you really wanted, not that I like that sort of thing, but you know. The cute little furry ones that just run around and go yip, yip, yip! Those are so cute."

Claudia's stare became heavy-lidded, prompting Nadine to frown.

"What?"

Her expression didn't change. "I despair for you, you know that?"

* * *

_European…_

_0.5 oz. Dubonette Rouge_

_0.5 tsp. Grand Mariner_

_1 oz. Gin_

_0.5 oz. Dry Vermouth_

_0.5 oz. Cream Sherry_

_1 Maraschino Cherry_

"I can't believe you haven't been to our house on Lake Como yet."

Nadine shrugged.

Claudia just shook her head. "It's beautiful – it's one of John's favorite properties of ours. He's never once taken you?"

"Nope. We're basically lucky to get out of town for a few days, we're both way too busy to leave the country. It sounds amazing, though," she added.

The older woman nodded. "You'd love it. We've got this huge villa right on the lake, and our boats are parked right on the docks. John's got a yacht there named _The Sainted Maria_, after his mother. Daddy named it.

"There are actually two villas," she continued, "but they're adjacent, about two blocks apart, separated by a massive courtyard, so we just lump the whole thing together. One has seven bedrooms, the other has six. It's about three miles from the old city of Como and an hour outside of Milan, so I stayed on there sometimes during the weekends when I was living in Italy. It's got a massive pool that stretches around half the house, plus an underground parking deck."

"Underground?"

"Yup," Claudia nodded proudly. "It's got gardens, and woods, and even its own private harbor. You think the view from the piers is pretty? You ain't seen nothing."

"Sounds gorgeous."

"You know what's gorgeous?" She caught herself before she fell off the stool when she turned too quickly. "The marble in the seven bathrooms. Love marble, love it. And…let's see, it's got its own salon, along with a private one that John designed himself, and balconies and terraces and this huge granite fountain in the courtyard, and there's a seventeenth-century church in the Lake Shore Village, and when John was a little boy he said he wanted to get married there."

"Aww." Nadine smiled warmly. "That's the cutest thing. He really loves it there, huh?"

"Oh, yeah," Claudia nodded. "Which is why I'm surprised he hasn't taken you there."

She shrugged and downed her drink in one go. "Who knows? Maybe he's waiting for some special occasion or whatever."

* * *

_Leave-It-To-Me…_

_2 oz. Gin_

_1 oz. Dry Vermouth_

_1 oz. Apricot Brandy_

_Dash of Grenadine_

_0.5 oz of lemon juice_

_Ice_

"But you had a chance to get out of it before, too, right?" Claudia propped her cheek up hard against her fist and stared at Nadine, her gaze heavy-lidded. "Like, when Nikolas asked you if you'd be willing to run the foundation under him? You turned him down because you said you loved nursing too much."

"I do," Nadine insisted, "I really love it, but…I don't know. I've basically realized that what I love most about my job is the kids. I love hanging out with them, I love being able to make them happy and make them laugh."

"Seek employment as a clown."

"Oh, shut up. And add a little more gin to this." She waited until Claudia splashed a little more into her glass without any preamble. "Anyway, I realized that what I really like about the job is the kids, you know?"

"You're talking to the wrong person, lady."

"I hate the other stuff about it," Nadine continued. "I hate changing bed pans. I hate the paperwork. I hate helping the doctors tell their asses from holes in the ground. And I already told you – I mainly went into nursing because of Jolene."

Claudia nodded solemnly. "Yeah. But you're getting older, that hardly signifies anymore, you know? This is your life, it's what you make of it. It's stupid to let your institutionalized sister dictate that."

"I know, I really do." She took a sip of her drink and licked her lips. "You know what I think I'd really like to do?"

"What?"

"Don't laugh," she warned her, wagging a finger. "…But I think I'd like to design toys for children of different age groups."

Claudia's brows furrowed but to her credit, she didn't laugh. "What kind of toys? What are you thinking about?"

"You know my Hello Stinky and Hello Ducky thing?" Nadine waited until Claudia grimaced and nodded. "I made those. I found the little stuffed things with the googly eyes and found matching 

wristbands and sewed them together. I made them myself. I want to be able to do something like that, design toys for kids. And – and I have all these ideas for, like, educational DVDs for younger age groups using characters like Hello Ducky and Hello Stinky and Hello Chirpy – he's going to be a blue bird, just because I feel blue birds aren't adequately represented in pop culture – and Hello Bunny. And they'd have all these adventures and teach kids about everything from colors to important historical dates to basic scientific principles, that sort of thing. What do you think?"

"I think…" She swirled her drink, getting most of it all over her hand. "I think you'd be really, really good at that."

Nadine's eyes lit up. "You do?"

"Sure. You've got the ideas, you've got the…experience. You're basically nothing more than a big child with boobs. You'd be really good at this sort of thing. Remind me tomorrow if we're not too hung over – I know the _perfect _person for you to talk to. I can help you make some great contacts."

* * *

_Merry Widow…_

_1 oz Vodka_

_1 oz. Dubonnet_

_1 oz. Dry Vermouth_

_Dash of orange bitters_

_Ice_

"So…"

Nadine looked up and spoke around the rim of her glass. "Yeah?"

"You know how I've kinda sorta been hanging out with Nikolas?"

"How you two have been having crazy sex? Yeah, I've heard."

"It's not crazy sex," Claudia snorted. "He's actually…pretty tame. If I want something new and exciting, I'm the one that has to – no, no! I'm not talking about that. So you know how we've been having sex?"

"How you've kinda sorta been hanging out?" Nadine nodded. "Sure, sure."

"And you know how I feel about kids, right?"

"Death knells of happiness?"

Claudia snapped her fingers. "Exactly. Well, so it wouldn't surprise you to know that I've been avoiding Spencer like the plague, right?"

"Nikolas has mentioned it," Nadine affirmed. "And for the record, he totally doesn't blame you. Appreciates it a little, in fact. I mean, he knows you're a dangerous woman and if your not having a relationship with Spencer keeps him safer both physically and emotionally, Nikolas is just fine with that. And he knows that not everyone's into kids. He doesn't hold it against you."

Claudia snorted. "Like that matters. If he held it against me, I'd set him straight."

"But he doesn't hold it against you."

"But if he did, I'd still set him straight."

"Fair enough." Nadine let out a sigh and, folding her arms on the counter, settled her chin there and listened. "So go on."

"Anyway, even though I go out of my way to avoid that kid, he still finds me sometimes." Claudia tucked a lock of raven hair behind her ear. "He's started calling me Claudie."

The corner of her mouth hooked up. "Aw, that's so cute. Spencer calls you that?"

"Yup."

"What'd you do the first time he did that?"

"I just kinda looked at him." She pressed her lips together. "And then I changed the subject and made up something about having to leave. Nikolas was there, too."

"Yeah? What'd he do?"

"He just kind of looked away, but I saw him smile." Claudia sighed and took a big sip of her drink. "You know, I don't think I have a choice anymore. I think I'm going to have to break up with him."

* * *

_Knockout…_

_1.5 oz. Gin_

_1.5 oz. Dry Vermouth_

_1 oz. Pernod_

_0.5 oz. White Crème de Menthe_

_Ice_

Johnny Zacchara stumbled a step when he reached out and grabbed his girlfriend before she tipped right over. Miraculously, Nadine had managed to make it all the way up the stairs with Claudia and was now teetering perilously. None of this stopped her from simultaneously laughing her ass off.

"I can't believe you _said_ that to her!"

Claudia grinned and leaned against the wall, looking quite worse for the wear but beyond caring. "I'd have said a lot more, but her car was being towed at the time."

"Man, you are such a bitch."

Johnny gripped Nadine's waist and pulled her up against his side, steadying her, before he glared at his sister. "What did you do to her?"

"I didn't do anything," Claudia snorted. "We went to Jake's to find your little Daisy Duke her very own signature drink."

"We did," Nadine affirmed, slinging her arm around her boyfriend's neck. She turned slightly and Johnny found one of her long legs wrapped around his. "She made me drink things. I drank…so many things."

"I'm sure it's a proud day for you and your family," Johnny grumbled, still trying to keep her upright. Nadine got very loopy when she was drunk, even loopier than usual. "You two seem to have done all right for yourselves."

"Coleman's gonna be so mad when he finds the mess we left on his counter," his sister snickered. "Man, I love that guy. He reminds me of a lumberjack. Doesn't he remind you of a lumberjack?"

"Oh, my God, he _totally_ reminds me of a lumberjack," Nadine cooed. "Maybe he is a lumberjack! Oh! Oh! Let's ask him."

"If he's a lumberjack?"

"If he's a lumberjack," she agreed. "I love that word, don't you? Lumberjack, lumberjack."

"Lumberjack, lumberjack," Claudia repeated happily. "Which way's my damn room? I've got work to do."

"The only thing I want you to do is go lie down on a sponge," Johnny ordered, pointing her the right way. "If you get lost, Reivers will be on hand to help you. I'm going to have to brew you two so much coffee tomorrow…"

He sighed when Nadine pressed a sloppy kiss to his lips and drew back, beaming proudly up at him as if she'd just accomplished some great feat. "Yes. Well. Thank you for that."

"You're welcome," the nurse replied happily. "You have a very smooth forehead."

"Thank you." Johnny glanced at her sister. "Well? Did you guys at least accomplish what you set out to?"

Claudia blinked at him, looking remarkably like an owl. "What did we set out to do?"

"Find her a signature drink." It was a pretty dumb excuse, but Johnny recalled that many of his excuses to go out and get smashed weren't all that clever, either. "Did you?"

"Oh!" Claudia's eyes lit up. "Of course we did! Tell 'im."

"We totally did," Nadine agreed, dragging her hand heavily from his shoulder, all the way down his chest, and to his navel. She would have gone lower, but that was when Johnny grabbed her wrist and held it securely. She was always frisky when she was drunk, which proved a very trying time for him, especially if he wasn't drunk as well. "We found the best drink for me. It fits my personality perfectly and it's such a pretty color and it tastes yummy."

"Yummy," Claudia agreed.

Johnny looked back and forth between the women, both of whom stared at him with hazy eyes. "…Well?"

"Well, what?"

"What'd you pick?"

Claudia frowned. "What did we pick?"

Nadine was also thinking about it. "…You know, I can't remember."

Johnny groaned as his sister threw her hands in the air. "Well, that's just great, Vacuum Girl, now we have to do this whole thing again!"

Nadine rested her head on Johnny's shoulder. "Next Friday night work for you?"

Her dark eyes flashed and she smiled broadly. "Perfectly."


	3. Wedding Bell Blues

**#3: Wedding Bell Blues**

Nadine Crowell was finally marrying the man of her dreams.

And her soon-to-be-sister-in-law had hijacked the wedding from the very start.

She told herself she didn't mind, she told herself that neither the church nor the dress nor the bridal party nor the color scheme mattered so long as she and Johnny would be able to spend the rest of their lives together, but Nadine still gritted their teeth as Claudia pushed them toward the door and to the waiting limo that would take them to the Queen of Angels for their Saturday morning wedding.

"Hurry, you're going to be late."

Johnny frowned as his sister shoved him down the steps. "Is it possible for one to be late for one's own wedding?"

Claudia wasn't amused. "Get in the car, genius. Hayden, you're good to go, right?"

He nodded and gestured to the file sitting on the passenger seat. "Got everything. We're set."

"What does he even need?" Johnny asked, still frowning as Claudia pushed him into the car and then hurried Nadine in after him. "_I'm_ the one getting married. What's he need?"

"None of your business." She looked over her shoulder and saw Reivers. He was on the phone and nodded to her, and Claudia let out a little breath of relief. "Okay, everyone set?"

Johnny and Nadine both grumbled, trying to get comfortable as she half hung in through their window.

"My tux is there, right?"

"And my dress?" Nadine didn't sound very excited. She didn't like the dress that Claudia had selected with its big poofy skirt and endless train and pearls and antique Italian lace. The whole thing weighed more than she did, but she was committed to it because not only did Claudia get one of her high-priced designer people to make it, but she also sold exclusive details to some of the celebrity magazines about it.

She loved Claudia and all, but the more Nadine thought about it, the more it felt like she and Johnny had fallen out of the picture as soon as he'd popped the question and she'd accepted. After that, it was the Claudia show. She managed everything down to the very last detail, and had already made arrangements with a ton of magazines to sell it all.

The dress was the first order of affair. Claudia promised Nadine a designer gown that she'd love, and had then gone over the sketches by herself and picked the hideous tulle confection she'd be wearing today. And even though Nadine was not at all the materialistic, vain sort, even she 

thought the dress was ugly. But it was couture, supposedly, so she couldn't say anything. And after the wedding, she was supposed to do a mini photoshoot for Vanity Fair in that hideous thing. Apparently, Anna Wintour was in raptures over the butt-ugly thing. It just proved that old Anna was getting on in terms of years.

That dress would be waiting for her at the Queen of Angels. Why she and Johnny were getting married there, Nadine had no idea. Johnny wasn't even from Port Charles, and Nadine wasn't even all that religious. She considered herself spiritual, not religious, and Johnny always got a big kick out of it whenever she said that, claiming that the whole 'spiritual, not religious' was just one of those lines girls spun that didn't mean anything. Like, 'I'm waiting until I get married.' Nadine had smacked him good for that.

But Claudia picked the Queen of Angels and they'd gotten their counseling and classes done there, what with Johnny being Catholic and all. Their date and time and priest were selected far in advance and they were locked in with no hope of escape. Ironically, Nadine had taken to praying that something would come up and they wouldn't be able to get married there and would instead have no choice but to read their vows in the gazebo in Johnny's expansive gardens or some other pretty place like that. Claudia already tipped the local media off about the location and even emailed them directions.

Claudia had even decided the wedding party, and Nadine figured she was damn fortunate to have secured Elizabeth Morgan as her maid of honor. Claudia had groaned and bitched about 'oatmeal-face-Mrs-Morgan' being a part of the ceremony but Nadine held firm and her future sister-in-law relented. The best man was one of Johnny's associates and was easily thirty years older than him.

The ring bearer was to be some child of some associate and they had no one to be the flower girl, so Claudia announced that they could just skip over that detail. Nadine had kind of liked the idea of a cute little girl walking down the aisle with pink rose petals, but agreed with Claudia that they didn't really have anyone old enough to manage that task and had as such settled on the older woman's arrangements for personnel. To add insult to injury, _OK! _Magazine had the rights to the exclusive rights to the pictures of the bridal party.

Their wedding was being held on a Saturday morning, which confused her. Johnny had mentioned once that he preferred having their ceremony on a Sunday morning to include Mass, but Claudia had insisted that a not-totally-religious wedding was more press-friendly. Then she got the editor of _People_ on the phone and arranged an exclusive after-wedding photoshoot of both the bride and groom.

In all honesty, Nadine felt bad for Elizabeth. Her friend was one of the most down-to-earth, obliging women she ever met who always put everyone else's wishes ahead of her own, but even Elizabeth had crinkled her nose at the dress that Claudia unkindly informed her she'd be wearing. It was black with red embellishments and red heels and when the nurse asked if that was practical for a wedding, Claudia made a few disparaging remarks that had Elizabeth agreeing to do what she was told provided she didn't have to deal with Claudia anymore.

What sucked the most was that they wouldn't get a honeymoon. She had tried to meet with Doctor Ford to schedule some time off, but he kept blowing her off and made himself otherwise unavailable, and he was the only one that could approve time off, so she was stuck. It turned out, though, that none of that mattered. Claudia informed her unhappy brother that unfortunately, there would be no way for the two of them to get away. They had a big deal about to go through and Johnny would have to supervise it and would be needed almost immediately after the wedding. She could promise them one night alone at Crimson Manor, but that was the best she could do. Faced with that, Nadine shelved her request for time off. There was no point if her husband would just have to work continuously for the next few weeks.

All of it blew.

But at least Nadine knew that whatever Claudia was doing, it came from a good place. Her sister-in-law-to-be wanted the wedding to go off without a hitch, and for it to be a proper business function. That was why she'd packed the guest list that she leaked to _Star_ magazine with about 200 associates that Nadine had never even heard of, much less met, and nit-picked even the smallest of details. All of it came from a good place and Nadine supposed she should be grateful that someone else had taken on the burden of arranging her wedding.

So here she was, sitting in a limo on a Saturday morning, ready to go to a church she didn't care for one way or another and put on a dress that she hated and go from the ceremony to the photoshoots and then back home for her non-honeymoon.

Yeah.

She sighed and settled her hands in her lap, reminding herself that none of it mattered, not really. She had the man she loved, the man she'd die for, and he would be standing in front of her, their guests, and God making beautiful promises to spend the rest of his life with her. That was all that mattered: her and Johnny. This was their wedding day, after all, and she was being ungrateful getting caught up in the stupid materialistic details.

"Well, Claudie?" Johnny looked up at her impatiently. "All our stuff is there, right? At the Queen of Angels?"

And finally, Claudia smiled her familiar wide, toothy grin, so much like her brother's that no one could doubt they were related. "…You're not going to the Queen of Angels."

Nadine stared at her. "What?"

She pointed to the envoy of cars and vans stationed near the gates leading up to Crimson Manor where the paparazzi and journalists were waiting. "_They_ think you're going to the Queen of Angels. They'll follow one of the decoy limos all the way there while you two get to the airport."

"But.." Nadine turned and looked at her fiancé. "Why are we going to the airport? Did you do something?"

"I didn't do anything," he replied honestly. "Claudie, what the hell are you-"

"You're not getting married at the Queen of Angels," she grinned, crossing her arms over the side of the door. "Hell, you're not even getting married today."

Their jaws dropped. "What are you-"

"Claudia." Johnny's voice was tight and rang with clear warning. "I told you this when we got engaged – if you attempt to sabotage this in any way, you-"

"Oh, relax." She rolled her eyes with a huff. "Hayden here's got your passports and all that stuff. You're going to the air field where the Zacchara jet is fueled and waiting to take you to our villa."

Nadine gasped. "The one on Lake Como?!"

Claudia nodded. "You'll be there in a couple of hours and you have all day to get ready. John, you'll have time to wrap up last minute business details and relax, and you're booked up all day at the spa. It's a private one on the premises. You're getting the works. You'll have dinner together at the house, and you'll get married tomorrow morning."

Johnny's eyebrows had jumped and he was staring at her in surprise. "You mean, on the property?"

She shook her head. "No. At the church in the village. You remember that place?"

Nadine grinned, remembering how Claudia once told her that as a little boy, Johnny always wanted to get married there. "The one in the Lake Shore Village, built in the seventeenth century."

"You're getting married there," she affirmed, "and I've already made arrangements for Father Bianchi to perform the Mass and ceremony."

He let out a short breath, turning to his soon-to-be-wife. "Father Bianchi – he's the one that baptized me. And he married my father and my mother."

"He's still there, still working in the vicarage," Claudia affirmed. "And everything's waiting for you there. John, you have plenty of clothes there, and the dress is being shipped there from Milan and should be there by the time you land."

"The dress?"

Claudia rolled her eyes and pulled her phone out of her pocket. She scrolled through some of the pictures she had on it and finally held it out to Nadine, and the nurse gaped at the beautiful Italian silk dress that ended at the knee and had a gold laurel coming up the strap on the back to rest on her shoulder.

"That one." She snorted and pocketed her phone. "You didn't think I'd let anyone I knew get married in that stupid cupcake dress, did you? Anna Wintour can so just bite my ass."

Nadine laughed in disbelief. "That's really my dress? Really?"

Claudia looked at her strangely. "What, you don't like it? Well, tough shit, because I had a hell of a time picking one that suited you, and then I had to get the laurels custom-made and fitted, so you can just-"

"No, no, I love it." She leaned back against the seat, a little out of breath. "I just can't believe it. I don't have to wear that huge tissue dress. Oh, thank God."

Johnny shot her an indulgent look, pleased at how happy she looked, before turning to his sister. "And the guests? Are all of them being flown out as well? Can our jets accommodate that?"

Claudia snorted. "All, who? It's just you two, me, Nikolas and Spencer, the Oatmeal Morgans, some of those dippy nurses from the hospital, that nerd kid and his twit girl, and a bunch of your Oxford friends. No one else."

The young couple gaped at her. "But-"

"I thought-"

"What about-"

"All those business associates-"

"On this, the day of my daughter's wedding-"

"Stop quoting stupid movies," Claudia snapped at Nadine. "That stupid guest list – you guys didn't think it was real, did you?"

"But that magazine published it this morning," Johnny pointed out.

"Please. Half those names, I made up." She flipped her hair over her shoulder, not appearing too distraught over it. "This is a small wedding. Just your friends. Hell, the bridal party is, like, half of all the people in attendance."

"Yeah?" This intrigued Johnny, and Nadine chewed her lip apprehensively. "Who's in it?"

"Well…" Claudia chewed her lip thoughtfully. "The maid of honor is Mrs. Oatmeal Morgan. Stupid twit made my life very difficult when I had to make sure the designer got her sizes. Harridan."

"You did terrorize her," Nadine pointed out kindly.

"Oh, please. She married Jason Morgan – time to fucking grow a backbone. But once she figured out that I wasn't going to make her wear the black dress, she made it much easier. Stupid milk maid, I should have switched her dress at the last minute to show her…"

"Claudie…"

"Fine, fine." She resumed relaying the list. "So she's your maid of honor, and that Irani girl, Got-Me-On-My-Knees-Leyla is the bridesmaid. She was too afraid of me to bitch about anything. I like that."

Johnny tried unsuccessfully to hide a smirk. "And the rest?"

"I went the untraditional route and arranged for two ring bearers," she admitted. "Spencer will be carrying your ring and Jake will be carrying her ring."

They both gaped at her, astonished. "Jake Morgan? He's a part of this? Is Jason okay with that?"

Claudia shrugged, unconcerned. "Why wouldn't he be? His little gidget is the flower girl, anyway."

Nadine could hardly believe what she was hearing. "Jules? Jules is the flower girl?!"

"What?" Claudia bristled, thinking that Nadine was attacking her. "She's two. She can walk. She can hold a basket. She can throw things. I mean, I know she's Morgan's daughter and everything, but I'm hoping that she can multi-task and somehow manage to do all three at once."

Johnny and Nadine just blinked at each other.

"I got in touch with that roommate of yours," Claudia continued, "the one from Oxford. Got his phone number from your address book. He's the usher, he'll be walking with the Irani nurse."

"And my best man?" Johnny's eyes twinkled. "Is it still Old Man Agnosti?"

His sister snorted again. "As if. Your best man is _me_."

Nadine grinned at that. "Seriously? _Awesome_."

"I'm wearing a suit," Claudia announced, "but as soon as we're out of church, I'm changing into something shorter. After the ceremony, we're all having lunch in the town square, and then the guests will return to Milan and spend the rest of their long weekend there until they fly back on Monday morning."

"And us?" Johnny arched a brow at her. "Do we actually get a honeymoon?"

Nadine's eyes widened. "Oh, no! I didn't ask for time off! I thought that you'd be working and-"

Claudia held up her hand. "You'll be honeymooning wherever you want. You can stay on at Lake Como or travel around Europe, it's up to you. Our agent's in Milan this time of year and he'll be able to make the arrangements, all of them. You have two months."

Nadine's jaw dropped. "Two months?!"

"I talked to that Doctor Ford guy shortly after you guys got engaged," she admitted uneasily. "Told him that he'd give you two months off and keep his mouth shut, and if you approached him about trying to get your vacation paperwork filed, he'd avoid you. Couldn't have him blowing this whole thing sky high."

Nadine's eyes were glistening and Johnny slipped his hand into hers, regarding his older sister seriously. "Claudie, this is all wonderful, but what about all the things you promised to the magazines? The photoshoots that we have to do, the exclusive interviews, all that stuff. You said the family stood to make about 50 million from those deals."

She smirked and straightened, folding her arms over her chest. "All lies. Just a way to distract the press and keep them off our backs until we're all out of the country and on our private property. Besides, what's 50 million to this family, anyway? We make more than that in a year."

Nadine chuckled, covering her mouth with her hand, and Johnny grinned.

"Thanks, Claudie."

"You're going to be late," she informed him sternly, though she couldn't quite hide her smile. "The plane's all set to leave, you two just need to get on it. Hayden?"

"You got it."

Claudia sighed and waved as the car slowly pulled away. "John, Nadie. Have fun, we'll see you there tomorrow."


	4. Parlor Games

**Note – **This one is kind of lame. But I had it in my head and couldn't ignore it, nor could I find a way to gimmick it up. It just struck me as funny, the vast difference between Claudia and Nadine's upbringing. Parlors and all.

**#4: Parlor Games**

Mr. and Mrs. John Zacchara were home at last.

And even though Claudia told herself that it wouldn't be long until she headed back to Milan when her brother took over the business, even though she told herself that she was out of there when he got serious with Nadine, even though she told herself that she'd be the detested interloper if she stayed on after their got married, Claudia was still the one to welcome them home when they returned from Europe.

During their two-month honeymoon, she had purchased a home in historic Crimson Pointe. It was dark and gothic, perfectly suited to her tastes, and she was happy to take up permanent residence there. She still showed up at Crimson Manor every day, though, simply because it was where she did her work. Plus, she had to take care of Johnny and Nadine's dog of about two years, their Irish wolfhound pup, Kane.

Johnny kissed her cheek and set about helping Reivers and Hayden get their luggage up to the master bedroom that he and his wife would now be sharing, and Claudia only let Nadine throw her arms around her neck when the men were all safely upstairs.

The rest of the day was a relaxing one. Johnny and Nadine had their things put away and brought some of the bare essentials into the master bedroom and adjoining bath. Claudia left to take care of errands while husband and wife showered (she didn't want to think about whether they did that together or not) and took a long nap. When they finally woke up, it was evening and Claudia had returned to Crimson Manor, meaning that it was an excellent occasion for an early dinner.

After dinner, Johnny left the women alone and retired to his office to check on his most pressing messages. Nadine didn't have much going on so Claudia figured the timing was as good as it was ever going to get.

"I got you something."

Her sister-in-law smirked. "What? I told you, you don't have to do that. You got me tons of stuff for the wedding."

"Just shut up and follow me," Claudia ordered, leading the way down the hall. They passed the massive dining room and walked down a long hallway, passing a small study and one of the doors leading into Johnny's offices. Finally, they arrived at a door and Claudia stood in front of it, wagging her finger at her.

"Don't get too excited," she warned, "because when you get excited, you scream, and then I want to destroy you. So don't get too excited."

Nadine nodded and clasped her hands in front of her. "Won't get excited. Check."

Claudia grinned and pushed the door open, ushering her through. "Well? Take a look."

It was a magnificent room that opened out to the gardens out back. The walls were a rich cream and there were ornate mirrors hung around the room, making it look bigger. The sunlight hit at the perfect angle, too, and the whole room seemed aglow. There were white couches with golden thread embroidery and a beautiful dark coffee table and matching furniture. The wet bar in the corner was stocked with all the normal drinks, plus the special ones needed for Nadine's signature cocktail.

There was a pretty bookshelf in the corner with tinted glass panes that slid back and forth, protecting the books from light and dust, and Nadine could just make out copies of some of her favorite books. On the shelf underneath sat copies of her favorite television series on DVD, and she knew there was a DVD player and jack for her mp3 player in the entertainment center on the other side of the room.

"Wow." She looked around, awed. "What is all this?"

"It's a parlor," Claudia announced as she looked around, clearly satisfied with her work. "I'm giving it to you."

Nadine blinked. "You're what?"

"I'm giving it to you."

"Giving what to me?"

Claudia arched a brow. "This parlor."

"This parlor?"

"Yeah."

Nadine squinted at her. "You're giving me a parlor."

"That's what I said!"

The new Mrs. Zacchara wasn't following and she crossed her arms over her chest, causing her massive diamond-and-emerald wedding ring to catch the light and sparkle. "Why?"

"What?"

"Why are you giving me a parlor?"

Claudia threw her hands in the air. "Are you kidding me?"

"No," Nadine replied honestly, "I just want to know why you're giving me a parlor."

"Because…because…" She sputtered stupidly, something new for her. "Because I'm giving you a fucking parlor!"

"Yes, but what does that mean?" Nadine persisted. "A parlor – giving it to me – what does that _mean_?"

"It means that before you didn't have a parlor and now you do. Magic."

Her droll response didn't illuminate the predicament properly, Nadine felt. "Yes, but…"

"Look." Claudia pursed her lips together, her eyes narrowed. "This is a parlor. You use it to…to…I don't know, read, relax, drink, smoke, play cards, entertain friends-"

"I read in bed," she pointed out, ticking the list off on her fingers, "and I relax in bed, and I don't drink that much unless I'm with you, and we do that at Jake's, and I don't smoke, and all my friends are too scared to come here. Also, gas prices."

"I don't care what the hell you use it for," her sister-in-law got out through gritted teeth. "It's a parlor. It's a private room that's all to the lady of the house. I had one here and now I don't because I don't live here anymore. So you get a parlor of your own to do with what you want. Paint it pink and keep bunnies in it, for all I fucking care."

"Yes, but-"

Claudia was saved from facing homicide charges by her little brother, who walked into the room and looked around.

"Whoa. Did we have this room before?"

She rolled her eyes, but Nadine beat her to the punch.

"It's a parlor," the nurse explained quickly.

"Yes, I can see that," Johnny murmured, coming up behind her and loosely wrapping his arms around her waist as he continued to gaze around him. "I feel like it wasn't here before…"

"Oh, for fuck's sake." Claudia planted her hands on her hips and glared at the two idiots she was related to. "Of course this room was here before. Check the damn blueprints if you don't believe me. I didn't just make up a whole room out of thin air, you know."

"It's a parlor," Nadine repeated, settling her hands on top of his as they both looked around, unaware of how perilously close to violence Claudia was, "and she gave it to me."

"Did she?" Johnny crinkled his nose. "She gave you the parlor."

"Yes."

"…What does that mean?"

Nadine shrugged. "I don't know."

Claudia muffled her shriek by biting down on a knuckle and whirled on her heel, stomping out of the room. "You're both going to have such stupid kids."


	5. Fender Bender

**Note – **If this seems weird for the first scene, just trust me and go with it. Seriously, the whole trusting me thing should be, like, the default option with you nerds by now. Ha.

**#5: Fender Bender**

Nadine let out a sigh of relief when she spotted him. They didn't know each other, but somehow she felt that on some level, they did. Johnny was wearing a pale camel-colored suit jacket over a white dress shirt and tie, and his normally unruly black hair was slicked and parted. And she had to admit, he looked damn cute in those Buddy Holly glasses.

She smiled and walked up to the table he sat at, right under a giant banner reading _Information Center. _"Hi."

Johnny looked up and smiled plainly back at her. "Hello, Miss. What can I help you with?"

Nadine switched her purse from one hand to the other. "I need some information."

"Of course, Miss Crowell." He shuffled his papers to the side and shoved those cute glasses higher up the bridge of his nose. "Information about what?"

"Well, there's this bacteria present in human sweat," she started. "It lives in our sweat glands, actually, and produces propinoic acid. Interestingly, this same bacteria is used to make Swiss cheese."

Johnny nodded pleasantly enough. "Yes, it is."

"I don't know if this makes you like Swiss cheese better," Nadine pondered aloud, "or if you already have an affinity to Swiss cheese because you smell like it."

He blinked up at her, his eyes ridiculously magnified. "What was your question, then, Miss Crowell?"

She pursed her lips together. "…Do I smell like Swiss Cheese?"

Johnny smiled politely. "No, Miss. You smell like lavender and soap."

"Oh." Nadine beamed at that. "Thank you. The lavender's my body wash; the soap is probably just the smell of the hospital."

"Of course." He folded his hands together. "Anything else?"

"Yes. I was actually looking for my old school. It was called Little Folks Elementary, and I know it was around here somewhere, but, goodness, it just seems to have…run off…"

"Ah, Little Folks Elementary." Johnny nodded. "You're two blocks east of it, I'm afraid. If you exit the building and turn left on Lawrence, after two blocks you'll see it on your right."

"Thank you! Oh, you're wonderful! You know, there was this teacher there while I was at Little Folks…" Nadine tapped her chin thoughtfully. "My old science teacher…?"

"Mister Wilkes."

"Yes, Mister Wilkes." She sighed happily. "I wonder how he's getting on these days."

"I'm afraid he passed on, Miss."

"Ah." Nadine frowned. "So, not so well, then, I take it."

"No, Miss."

"How did he die?"

"Suicide. He hated himself, you see."

"Hm." She planted a hand on her hip. "You know, there was this boy that sat behind me all year and he would always cheat off me on Mister Wilkes's tests by looking over my shoulder."

"He wasn't looking over your shoulder," Johnny informed her politely. "Aaron Simms had a crush on you. He was smelling your hair."

"But that can't be-"

"It is."

"Really?" Her eyes were wide, owl-like. "I had no idea. I never even looked at him twice."

"The whole school thought you were dating."

"They what?!"

"Aaron told everyone that he asked you out and that you agreed. The story spread from there."

Nadine planted her hands on her hip once more, looking absolutely indignant. "The nerve of that boy!"

"His father found out about it and explained to him that it was wrong," Johnny added, trying to reassure her. "He told him that it wasn't right to go around making up stories about people."

"Well, that's good." She lifted her chin a notch. "Aaron Simms's father must have been a very upright, honest sort of fellow."

"He was a gossip columnist, Miss." He shoved his glasses up his nose again. "The week before he overheard his son discussing this matter with a friend, he had fabricated a column about one of the society matrons having an affair with her pool boy and felt badly about it."

Nadine's jaw dropped. "Well, he should! Imagine, besmirching an innocent woman's name like that!"

Johnny nodded sagely. "Indeed. It wasn't the pool boy. It was the golf instructor."

She cocked her head to the side and studied him carefully, all prim and polished in that camel suit jacket and those large glasses. "Tell me, how do you know all this? I've never even met you before – you don't even live in our town – and yet you know almost everything about everything."

Johnny pointed to the banner right above him. "Information Center, Miss."

Nadine's eyes skimmed over the letters. "Yes, I see."

Her eyes narrowed at him, but he didn't appear fazed. "How can you increase oxytocin levels in the blood stream?"

"Three ways: chocolate, breastfeeding, and orgasm."

He was right, damn him.

"Is Jesus everywhere?"

"No, you're thinking of Visa."

Plausible enough.

"What can you tell me about plants?"

Johnny was dead serious. "Plants are promiscuous."

"Okay. Um…What is Socrates best known for?"

"Sadly…" He shook his head. "His role in _Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure._"

He had her there.

"Was pornography in the 1980s a soft cultural or hard political issue?"

"Oh, hard, always."

He smiled pleasantly up at her as she tapped her fingers on the table. When he noticed her troubled expression, the way that her mouth curved down slightly at the corners, he couldn't stop himself from asking, "Are you all right, Miss Crowell?"

"Well…" She nibbled on her lip and gazed down at him. "I don't suppose you could tell me something."

Johnny pointed at the banner again with the same smile. "Information Center, Miss. You may ask me anything you like."

"Yes. Well." She blinked prettily, almost blushing, and tilted her head to the side. "Could you tell me…how can I be happy? How can one be happy? Do you know how one can attain perfect happiness?"

"Perfect happiness." His smile widened and he nodded. "Oh, yes, I know how one can be happy."

Her eyes lit up and she eagerly awaited his reply. "Really? How?"

"Oh, I'm afraid I can't tell you, Miss." Johnny shook his head regretfully. "That information is restricted."

Nadine's shoulders slumped. "Restricted? As in…confidential?"

"Oh, highly confidential, Miss."

Another thought occurred to her and she perked up just a little. "Could you tell me, then – how can I be content?"

"I can tell you how to be content," he allowed with that same serene smile.

Nadine leaned closer. "How?"

He did the same and arched a brow at her. "Don't ask questions."

* * *

"Wow." Johnny smirked up at the ceiling. "I'm smart in your dreams."

Her head was resting on his shoulder and Nadine smiled, lightly trailing her fingers under the hem of his gray wife beater, along the soft trail of dark hair that disappeared under his sweatpants. "Well, you're smart in real life, too."

"You sure have crazy dreams, though."

"Don't I?" She sighed and snuggled against his side. "How about the ending, though, right? The way to be content is not to ask too many questions."

His fingertips lightly stroked her arm, up and down, up and down. "…Yeah…"

Nadine thought she was in the clear as they lay in comfortable silence, but then felt him tense underneath her. She gulped, having no choice but to look up at him when Johnny pushed himself up onto his elbows and frowned sternly at her, clearly having figured it out.

"So how bad did you dent the car?"


	6. Home Sweet Home

**Note – **This one is smutty. Heeeeeeeeee. I hate smut, though. :( Sads.

**#6: Home Sweet Home**

**(NC-17)**

Johnny Zacchara was beyond irritated.

He'd just gone out, gotten a bunch of his wife's favorite flowers, sent the staff home, and then spent an hour searching Crimson Manor from top to bottom trying to find the damn woman. She had vanished, as had his chances of getting laid.

It had been more than a week since he'd had sex, and he was sick of taking care of it in the shower in the morning. He wanted his wife and didn't feel that was too much to ask for.

Aside from that, though, Nadine had been a real bitch lately. She had been snippy and distant ever since Claudia walked in on them in a compromising position in Nadine's parlor. Nadine had been horrified, even though Claudia just laughed it off and told them to come find her when they both had their pants on. Ever since then, she'd been snarky (and not in her normally cute way) and made herself scarce, and the hard to get act was wearing really thin.

Johnny scowled when he spotted a maid walking down the hall toward him with a fresh stack of linens. "What are you doing here? I sent everyone home."

She blinked at him. "You did? My apologies, Master John, we didn't know."

"We?" He scrubbed a hand over his face. "You mean there are more of you still here? How many?"

"Oh, about a dozen of us, sir, most likely more." The maid nibbled her lip nervously. "Should I tell them that we're to leave?"

Johnny nodded wearily. There was always someone in this house, even when he tried to send them all home. "Yes. Please let them know that you all have a paid day off. Thank you."

He headed down the stairs as she whirled around and went the direction she came from and found Reivers dusting in the foyer.

"Reivers."

The old man straightened, not at all fazed by the way Johnny barked at him. "Yes, Master John?"

"I told everyone to get the hell out!"

Reivers scoffed and went back to dusting. "Yes, but surely you couldn't have meant _me_, Master John. The very idea is ridiculous."

Johnny let out a laugh that sounded a little maniacal even to him, and ran his hands through his hair. Oh, God.

"Have you seen Nadine?"

"I have not seen Madame Zacchara presently, sir, no. I can have someone sent out to find her, if you like."

Johnny snarled and picked up his keys from the table. "Forget it. I'm going to go deal with her myself."

* * *

Nadine snarled to herself. Arms folded over her chest, she paced around in the dark in Johnny's old bachelor pad. He kept it even after they got married and she was glad he did. Sometimes he just needed a place to get away to, and the apartment was perfectly suited to his tastes. The problem was, she needed a place to get away to sometimes, too, especially when his stupid sister walked in on them having sex and she felt like she couldn't even show her face at Crimson Manor after word got out among the staff and guards. And, oh, God, the staff and guards! It was like no matter what, there were still several dozen people in the house at any given time, not giving her and Johnny any time to enjoy being newlyweds.

Stupid Claudia.

Stupid Johnny.

He had been weird all week, always pestering her for sex and not even realizing how awkward she felt about getting busy with him in a house where Reivers, maids, guards, and Claudia were all lurking around, being annoying and…present.

Stupid Johnny.

Stupid sex.

The stupid sex part was unfortunate, because she really wanted to have sex, too.

Damn stupid sex.

Damn stupid husband.

She snarled again and kept pacing, needing a way to work out her aggression and frustration. Normally she'd work it all out by hanging out with Claudia or talking things out with Reivers – he always helped. But she didn't want to be around them right now and so had no choice but to pace like a caged animal, ready to rip apart the first person stupid enough to get in her way.

Nadine turned when she heard a key in the lock, her teeth still gritted, and within seconds found herself staring at her husband. He glared back at her, and it didn't take a genius to figure out that he wasn't pleased.

Slamming the keys down on the little ledge right by the door, he stalked forward, his dark eyes practically giving off sparks.

"Here you are." The words were half-snarled as he advanced on her. "What the hell is your prob-"

Nadine growled and gave him a good shove once he was within distance, then another so that his back slammed against the door. Johnny gaped at her before his eyes blazed, but it was too late. Nadine's hands were fisted in his black dress shirt under his suit jacket as she kept him pinned against the door, using all of her weight to do so, and she rose up on her toes to press her lips to his.

The kiss was hard and bruising, fierce and brutal, and Johnny groaned into her mouth. She swallowed the noise and rammed her tongue into his mouth, boldly jabbing at his. He didn't need to be coaxed to return the favor. Johnny's fingers dug into her hips as he practically mauled her, kissing her deeply and thoroughly and slowly starting to overpower her.

He would have straightened to his full height and shoved her up against the door just then if Nadine hadn't kicked his shin, causing him to stumble, and slammed him up against the door once more. Her eyes remained closed even as he gaped at her, and it was very clear what she was after.

She dragged her hands up his sides, causing his blood to hum hotly through his veins, and gripped his suit jacket. Without any thought to the fact that it cost more than her first car, she fisted it and shoved it down his shoulders and over his arms until it was on the floor, then reached for his shirt.

Nadine yanked at the buttons, causing a couple to rip off and ping across the hardwood floors, and her fingers found the springy dark chest hair underneath. She ran her hands over his chest, teasing him as Johnny snarled into her mouth, then surprised him.

Instead of trying to rip his shirt off of him now that she had it open, Nadine yanked at the sleeves of her white cardigan. She got it off and tossed it away, stepping back to grip the hem of her t-shirt. Johnny watched in awe as his wife stripped it over her head, leaving her clad in her teal-colored bra and navy-blue sailor pants.

Johnny reached for her, liking the idea of undoing those cute little buttons and pulling the dark fabric down over her narrow hips, but Nadine smacked his hand away with surprising force. She was breathing hard and fumbled with the buttons but managed to get them all undone. Johnny moaned to himself as she shook her hips, shimmying out of the pants, and his blood roared in his ears as the pants pooled around her feet for her to kick away before she joined him again. He absolutely loved it when she tore off her clothes after tearing off his – it was like she couldn't wait to get naked with him.

He shrugged, letting his shirt fall to the floor, and his muscles rippled as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around her. Nadine murmured her appreciation and lightly trailed her hands up his arms, over his biceps, and onto his shoulders before dragging them down his chest and further south. He growled and pulled her hard into him, letting her feel his burgeoning erection, and she mewled into his mouth.

Johnny bent slightly at the knees, intending to pick his wife up and take her to bed, but Nadine squeezed his shoulders and shook her head.

"Against the door."

Her breathless whisper ignited something purely primitive and masculine deep inside him, and Johnny was only too ready to comply. Nadine was playful and experimental when it came to sex, clearly knowing that she could stir up her own passion and excitement by stirring his, but there was something so raw about this moment that it damn near took his breath away.

And as these emotions swirled hotly within him, he remembered his strength and a certain unfortunate incident that occurred one time when he and Nadine had been going at it against the wall and she ended up needing stitches on her head.

"You sure?"

She nodded, her eyes hooded, and lightly brushed her lips over his just to torture him. "Slam me up against the door. Hard."

"Are you sure? You could get hur-"

"Damn it, Johnny!"

"Fine." Never one to argue with a woman's commands during sex, he did what he was told and slammed her up against the door, pinning her there with his hips as he ground against her. Nadine moaned and pulled him in for a hard, bruising kiss, raking her nails over his scalp.

She was breathing hard and so was he when she finally let him go, and Nadine gripped the back of his neck as she simultaneously reached for his zipper. She wasn't looking at him as Johnny gazed down at her, concentrating instead on getting the zipper down the teeth, a task made all the more difficult by the bulge underneath that caused the fabric to sit snugly on his hips.

She finally got it down and without any preamble, reached inside for him. Johnny shuddered when her hand wrapped around him, squeezing him hard, and had to brace some of his weight against the door to keep from crushing her there, too.

Nadine dropped hot, wet kisses along the side of his neck as she played with him, feeling him get harder and harder in her hand. She tormented him that way, with the flirty but commanding touch of her fingers, and he was trembling by the time she finally decided to stop.

Somehow, he managed to pull a condom from his wallet before he dropped his pants, and Nadine fumbled with it to get it into place. Johnny snarled and as his hand found her hip, he ripped her panties off of her and sent them to the floor. Nothing else mattered at that moment but being inside, being joined to her, and he knew she was ready.

He hooked one of her long legs around his waist, making sure she was supported, and slammed into her. Nadine didn't cry out at all. Instead, she gripped his hips and urged him along, didn't shy away from the contact, and Johnny was absolutely sure they were making enough noise to wake up the whole floor.

He kept the frantic movements up until she bit her lip to muffle a scream and clenched around him, and then gave in as well. Nadine hung on for dear life, her arms now around his neck as she held him close to her, and he could hear her heart pounding as he slumped against her and the door.

Finally, his breathing was nearing normal and Johnny managed to push himself up enough to drop small kisses on her lip, rousing her, and Nadine cupped his cheek in one hand and smiled.

"Hey."

Johnny smiled down at her, his dark eyes twinkling now. "Hi."

Her lashes fluttered as he leaned in to kiss her softly, with all the tenderness that had been missing before. Nadine smiled against his mouth and his breath tickled her lips when he finally pulled away.

"You okay?"

"Great."

He nudged her cheek with his own. "Hey. What was that about earlier?"

"What was what about?"

"Just…that. The weirdness."

She nibbled on her lip, her eyes still on his swollen mouth, and traced the outline of his lips carefully with her fingers. "…I don't like it there."

"Where?" His eyes widened in alarm. "Crimson Manor?"

"It's a beautiful house," she assured him sincerely. "And I love Reivers and Claudia and everyone there, and I love our bedroom and my parlor and your offices, but…"

"But?" he helped her along.

"But we're never alone there," Nadine said quietly. "Claudia's always barging in, and Hayden and Corwin and Simon are always lounging around. Reivers appears out of nowhere half the time, and there are always at least a dozen of maids underfoot. Plus, Cook's forged a new friendship with the gardener and has actually been venturing outside the kitchen, and…I don't know."

She shrugged lamely, embarrassed by her complaint. "It just feels like we can't really…be newlyweds there. There's always someone around, and it just feels…"

Nadine trailed off and bit her lip. "Sorry. Sorry, I should haven't said-"

"No, it's okay," Johnny assured her, touching her chin lightly with the pad of his thumb. "I…I get it. I get what you're saying. And…you're right. We haven't really had a chance to be newlyweds, not since we got back from our honeymoon. And…and you're right, we live there, but we share that house with at least two dozen other people. We should have someplace of our own."

"We could always use this place, like we used to," she suggested. "That's why I came back here today. I missed it."

"We could," Johnny allowed slowly, looking around the apartment. The only problem was that it was still very much his place, suited to a man's tastes, and pretty small. "But I have a better idea."

"Oh?"

He bit his lip, thinking it through, and his eyes began to glow in excitement. "We should have our own place."

"But we-"

"No, I mean, our own house."

Her brows pulled together, leaving her looking adorably befuddled. "Like, a starter house?"

"Not a starter house, really, because those are for people saving up for a larger home, kind of in that intermediate state." He shrugged his shoulders. "Why not get a real house? With a fence and a big back yard and actual neighbors we could talk to?"

Her eyes were starting to twinkle. "We can do that?"

"Sure," Johnny replied affably. "Why not? What do you think?"

"Oh, I love it!"

"You know, I wasn't really going to say anything…" He peeked at her sheepishly. "But I saw a place last week that was for sale that I really liked."

"Yeah? Where?"

"I think you know where it is – it's right across the street from Elizabeth's house, the one she owned before she moved in with Jason. On Cherry Blossom Lane."

Nadine's eyes gleamed and she threw her arms around her husband's neck. "I love it."


	7. The Grapevine

**#7: The Grapevine**

"Master John, oh, good, you've arrived." Reivers caught his arm and directed him toward the smaller offices located off his main offices. "I fear your sister is…well, I fear she's just not right currently."

Johnny frowned as Reivers opened the door for him. "What are you talking about?"

The butler couldn't elaborate and instead only said gravely, "I think you'd best see for yourself, Master John."

And thus bewildered, Johnny found himself shoved into the offices where his sister was barking into the phone. When he turned to question Reivers again, the butler quickly grabbed the doors and pulled them securely shut.

There was no escape.

Shaking off the thought, Johnny advanced on Claudia. She was his sister, after all, and she couldn't get much crazier than she already was. Reivers was probably exaggerating, blowing things out of proportions. He heard butlers did that a lot; it was the primary defect of their kind.

He let out a sigh, announcing himself, and shoved his hands into the pockets of his dark jeans. "What's going on, Claudie?"

She held up her finger at him, warning him to be quiet, and continued barking into the phone.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Do you even know who I am?" Her lips curled into a derisive sneer. "I am Claudia Zacchara, and I will buy and sell your piddling ink-stain paper a thousand times over. Tell me, does the _Times_ make a habit of spreading malicious lies about private citizens and expecting not to have their asses sued off?!"

Johnny cringed. Claudia hardly ever threatened legal action, much preferring to take care of things on her own if she could help it. He knew she adored Ric as their legal counsel, but it was just a residual effect of their relationship with his father that kept her self-sufficient, independent. So if she was threatening to bring him in, he knew it was bad.

"What happened?"

She turned the chair around so that her back was toward him, and Johnny growled in frustration as he rounded the desk. Claudia was still threatening whichever peon was on the other end.

"I will sue you for defamation of character," she hissed. "What's your name? Darryl? Darryl, I want you to stand up on your chair, peer over the wall of your little 4x4 cubicle, and announce to the whole floor that I am going to sue your little gossip rag. I don't hear a chair squeaking, Darryl."

"Claudia," Johnny tried to cut in. "Don't you think-"

"Forget this," she snorted, turning the chair again and gripping the edge of her desk. "Put your editor on. Whoever runs the joint and decides what filth gets slapped on the pages, pages that even a dead fish would take offense at being wrapped in, I want to talk to him. Yes, the editor in chief. Who? Yes, yes, put him on before the bad vibes I'm sending completely overload you. Peon."

The last word was muttered darkly under her breath as Claudia waited. She fucking hated being put on hold.

The break, however, gave Johnny the opportunity he needed to get some answers.

"Claudia, what the hell happened?!"

She grabbed the morning's copy of the _New York Times_ and practically hurled it at him. "Read that."

He straightened it out and found the article staring up at him. Claudia was glaring daggers at him, daring to go ahead and read the filth that had been printed, presumably about her.

"_New York socialite attends Fashion Week shows with sister-in-law."_

Johnny pursed his lips and looked at her. "So?"

Claudia snarled, her displeasure evident. "Read on. Read the whole thing, not just the fucking lead-in."

He cleared his throat and held the paper into the sunlight. _"Claudia Zacchara was seen at the Badgley-Mischka show this past Friday with her sister-in-law of eight months, Nadine. The Ohio-native is married to Miss Zacchara's younger brother, John, and had been a friend of the family's for a few years before the couple wed."_

Johnny glanced at her. "So far, I'm not seeing what's so horrible about it."

Claudia looked mad enough to spit. "Keep reading!"

"_Miss Zacchara was heard introducing her sister-in-law as her 'sister,' according to our sources. The two sat side by side throughout the showings, periodically leaning in to talk quietly to each other and presumably comment on the designs they liked. They even posed for a few pictures, Miss Zacchara's arm around her sister-in-law's shoulder._"

Claudia looked as if a storm cloud had lodged itself permanently in her brain.

"_After the showings were over, the two women headed out for dinner, and were heard to be bickering playfully the whole time about where to eat. Miss Zacchara was in the mood for high-end consumption and was leaning heavily toward Butter, while the younger Mrs. Zacchara was in the mood for a hot dog off her favorite cart and, as she put it, 'bumming around.' The idea didn't sit well with her sister-in-law and they finally settled on a compromise."_

He looked down at his sister and beamed. "Claudia, you learned how to compromise? You've had a good week."

"Shut up."

Johnny cleared his throat. _"Claudia and Nadine were seen out on the town later that night at the Marquee club. Their signature drinks firmly in hand – Claudia Zacchara enjoys a 'Kiss in the Dark' while Mrs. Zacchara prefers 'the Perfect Manhattan' – the young women stayed in the VIP lounge and mingled with the designers and models. As always, Mrs. Zacchara charmed the small gathering with her colorful stories while Claudia remained nearby, listening in and occasionally chiming in to poke fun at the younger woman. Though her remarks were sometimes more caustic according to those present than they were comfortable with, one thing was clear to all those in attendance: Claudia Zacchara could not possibly adore her new sister-in-law any more than she already does."_

He studied the print for a long moment before looking up at her. Claudia met his gaze directly.

"Do you see?"

Johnny didn't. "Um…"

"Do you _see_ what filth they've printed?" she continued to fume. "Those paper pushers and their malicious lies – and they've still got me on hold, the inky-fingered fuckers!"

"Claudia…" He frowned down at the article. "They didn't, um, they'd didn't say anything…_bad_ about you."

Her jaw dropped and it was a moment before she could speak. "…The hell they didn't! Did you even _read_ the article?! What the hell's the matter with you?"

"They said nice things," he replied helplessly. "They talked about what you drink and what shows you attended and that you like Nadine."

"Exactly!" she burst out. "Do you realize how damaging that is to my reputation? Oh, I should sue them for defamation, slander, misrepresentation of facts, _and_ damages and mental anguish! Write that down! Stupid journos and their lies."

"But-But-But-They said you like Nadine!"

"Exactly," Claudia replied slowly, as if she was talking to a small child. "We've been over this."

"But you do like Nadine!"

"Well, I don't want the _world_ knowing that," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Think about what it would do to my reputation. Hello? Yes! This is Claudia Zacchara. Am I speaking to the editor of the _Times_? Good, about damn time. Don't laugh, that wasn't a joke. I don't make jokes. I had that part of my brain surgically removed. And I don't think I need to tell you what part of _your_ brain my lawyers will have surgically removed if you don't print a retraction in tomorrow's paper. About what? I should think that would be obvious."

Slowly, so as not to attract any attention to himself, Johnny set the newspaper on the table and started to back away.

"I demand you print a retraction for those horrible lies! The ones that say that I couldn't adore my sister-in-law more if I tried! Those horrible, malicious lies! …What do you mean, you worry about my sanity? I worry about your livelihood if you don't do what I'm telling you to! Do you have any idea how damaging that kind of information is? If people actually _read_ your stupid paper, they'd see that, and I'd be fucked. Let me make this very clear to you. I will buy your damn newspaper and break it off bit by bit and then laugh at you as you clean out your cubicle, get me?"

Johnny slipped out into the hall and securely shut the doors, leaving his crazy sister inside to rant away to her heart's content. Holy shit, Reivers hadn't been kidding about that: Claudia was certifiable.

Shaking his head, he made his way down the hall to the back porch where he knew his wife would be. She had quit her job at the hospital and was working on her line of toys and DVDs for children. She called it PreKocious, but it was a working name for the line and she claimed she wasn't married to it. Claudia had proved a great help in wrangling up connections and interest and investment, and Nadine was having a blast working through the planning stages.

Designing age-group specific toys and movies for children was what she was born to do, and she considered herself very fortunate to have already lined up a client in General Hospital. Doctor Ford and the hospital board were very interested in her work and hoped to stock the pediatrics wing as soon as her products passed testing. Nadine secretly suspected that Johnny and Nikolas, both of whom were members of the board, paved the way for her there.

She was home for lunch now. Nadine always came home for lunch so that she could eat with her husband and sister-in-law. Sometimes Hayden and Corwin stopped in, and that was fun, too. Cook would have food on the table in about half an hour, so Johnny figured it was enough time to hang out with his wife on the back porch before they had to come in.

Nadine was sitting on one of the lounge chairs, a half-empty glass of iced tea with a lemon wedge sitting on the table next to her. Their Irish Wolfhound, Kane, was lounging at the foot of the chair and had his head resting on her thigh.

She flashed him a grin as he stepped out onto the porch, and Johnny pressed a quick kiss to her lips before he took his seat next to her.

"You would not _believe_ what I walked in on," he said, scratching the back of his head. "Claudia's getting all worked up over the stupidest thing – I swear, my sister is certifiable."

"Can you hold on one sec?" Nadine touched her finger quickly to his lips and when she turned her head he saw that she had her phone pressed to her ear. "I'm on the phone."

Johnny frowned as she shifted slightly in her seat and perked up when she was taken off hold. "Hi. Yes, this is Nadine Zacchara. I'm speaking to, um…"

He sucked in a breath when Nadine reached for another copy of the newspaper that was sitting on the table and glanced at the byline accompanying the very article he'd just read.

"…Alan Silver, the society reporter, correct?" She grinned when she got an affirmative answer. "Great! I actually had a question. You know that article you wrote about me and my sister-in-law, Claudia? What? Oh, no, no, no, I don't want to sue you! I just have a question, honest! You know how you said that it's obvious that Claudia Zacchara adores her sister-in-law? How reliable are your sources?"

Johnny pulled away, edging further and further back on the lounge chair, away from his wife.

"Really? Yay! Oh, my gosh, thank you! What? Oh, sure, sure, if I'm deposed I'll support you. Why would I be deposed? You know what? Forget it, it doesn't matter. Thank you! You made my day!"

Nadine clicked her phone off and set it on the table, then turned to him with an enormous grin. She leaned closer, her bangs falling in her face as her eyes danced with excitement and said confidingly, "Their sources are very reliable."

Johnny groaned and collapsed back onto the lounge chair. It was settled: both women in his life were absolutely bat-shit insane.


	8. From Now On

**Note **– This one is just so sweet. And thank you again to everyone who reads these one-shots and has read _The Right Girl_. I can't believe how many people have read it, or have talked about it on other boards (or on podcasts- ha!), or have even heard of it. It's certainly, uh, well-known! LOL! I am both thrilled and self-conscious, given all the typos and other gaffes.

**#8: From Now On**

It was Christmas season at the Zacchara house, and it was Johnny's favorite time of year. Winter was always something he associated with his wife, with illicit meetings on the docks, with chocolate chip cookies and cocoa on the hospital roof, with Nadine's winter hat with the big poof ball on top and her crazy mittens that she knitted herself.

He instructed Reivers to fetch his winter overcoat and his leather gloves and told Corwin to get the car warmed up as he trotted down the stairs, hoping to find his wife before he left. It was easy enough: he just followed the sound of _Merry Little Christmas_ to the kitchen and found not only Nadine but Claudia, also, practically camped out at the marble counter in the kitchen.

Nadine had a needle and a length of strong string along with a bowl of popcorn and cranberries right next to her. Claudia was sitting on the stool across from her with a matching mug of cocoa (his sister always said that if she was going to be forced into any new 'family' Christmas rituals, she'd be allowed a healthy splash of rum in her beverage, whatever it may be at the time).

Nadine was chattering about something, and as she added first a cranberry and then a kernel of popcorn to the long chain, Claudia would eat the items from the other end. Nadine knew she was doing this, but made it her simple aim to add popcorn and berries to the line faster than her sister-in-law could eat them.

The sight made Johnny smile as he headed down the corridor and came up behind them.

"That episode is the _only_ one that I still like. And I was thinking, you know, it must just be a boy thing, because that slapstick appeals to them way more than it does to us girls in general. Oh!" She jabbed a finger at Claudia, who was in the process of popping a cranberry in her mouth and looked up, annoyed. "Speaking of Hitler…"

His sister rolled her eyes. "There's a statement you don't hear that often."

Johnny smirked and looped his arms around Nadine's waist, taking her by surprise. He rested his chin on her shoulder and nuzzled her neck when she started in his arms and Claudia, to her credit, did not pull a face at the couple's embrace.

"Hey, you."

"Hey." Nadine was as bright and chipper as ever. "Heading out?"

Johnny nodded. "Got a few errands to run. Thought I'd ask – you got your gift list done yet?"

The gift list was their way of making their Christmas shopping easier. The big day was getting closer and closer, and they had both been so busy with their respective businesses. Nadine's products had just gotten through the last phase of testing, and she was looking forward to having the first batch made and shipped out now that all the practical and legal concerns were taken care of. Claudia had helped her get through the worst of it, and Nadine had ended up taking her suggestion at the last minute and changing her fledgling company's name to the Sunshine Factory, which amused Johnny terribly.

Johnny was, naturally, busy with the day to day operations of his own business and this was often the busiest time of the year. Somehow, it worked out that way despite all the precautions he might have taken. So, instead of wasting hours at the department stores (or online, Claudia was quick to point out, as she'd gotten quite addicted to buying her shoes and handbags that way), wandering around and trying to find 'the perfect gift' for each other, husband and wife had figured out a better method.

They were both relatively simple people in regards to how they lived their lives and what their values were. Johnny, though he could afford the finest things in life, had always appreciated sentiments and thoughts more than material things. Nadine had been raised by her Aunt Rayleen to be much the same way.

Because of this, they had no qualms about writing down a list of the items they wanted for Christmas. Neither one had a long list, just five to seven items that served as either explicit terms or fanciful suggestions, and that was that. Johnny would take Nadine's list and get her a few (or all) things off of that, and she would do the same with his list.

Claudia watched suspiciously as Nadine smiled and pulled a folded up piece of paper out of her back pocket.

"Right here." She dropped it in his waiting hand and looked up at him. "And you?"

"Right here," Johnny replied in kind, handing the list to her. "I've gotta go, but I'll be back in time for dinner."

Claudia ate two cranberries and popcorn kernels while they kissed goodbye, and barely looked over when her brother left. Instead, she watched Nadine, noting the curve of her lips as she resumed her chain-making task, smirking all the while. If she didn't know any better, Claudia would have to say that Nadine looked…smug. Knowing. Devious!

Well, how about that?

She never would have figured that the little milk maid even knew _how_ to look devious, much less to actually _be_ devious.

Obviously, it had to do with her list, since her sister-in-law had yet to look at Johnny's.

Never one to stifle her curiosity (or really, anything) in any way, Claudia poked her nose in where she didn't have the decorum to realize it didn't belong.

"So? What'd you ask for?"

Nadine grinned as she added first a berry, then popcorn, then another berry to the chain. "Sunshine and gumdrops and pink ponies and world peace and endless rainbows and-"

"Oh, my God." Claudia rolled her eyes and, in retaliation, pulled a handful of edible bits off the string and crammed them into her mouth, speaking around them. "Just shut up."

* * *

_Later…_

"You gonna try to get it all done _now_?"

Johnny shrugged as he and Hayden wound their way through Wyndham's, heading toward the jewelry section where he knew he'd probably be able to purchase at least one thing on Nadine's list. He'd been so busy the whole day that he hadn't even had a chance to glance at it.

"I figure I might as well," he shrugged, patting his pockets in search of the scrap of paper. "We were in Port Charles, anyway. And Wyndham's is more upscale than a lot of the department stores in Crimson Pointe. Shit, where'd I put it?"

"There's the jewelry and glassware section," his guard pointed out helpfully. "Look at that glass elephant. Do women like glass elephants?"

"Not _my_ woman," Johnny murmured, finally locating the list in his back pocket. "Besides, I've got a list of at least five things here that she really wants, and I'm not going to deviate from it. No way. It's when you deviate from what she tells you to do that you get in trouble."

"Learned that the hard way, did you?"

"…Shut up."

He glared one last time at his guard, who had the impudence to actually be _smirking_, before unfolding the list and straightening it. He had expected to see something about jewelry or books or music or something artsy, and so Johnny could not have been more stunned by the words printed in Nadine's neat but loopy feminine scrawl.

_What I Want for Christmas_

_By Nadine Zacchara_

_A baby_

_A baby_

_A baby_

_For Mister Rogers's Neighborhood of Make-Believe to be real and for me to have permission to live in Lady Elaine Fairchild's Museum-Go-Round forever (with you if you're nice to me)_

_A baby_

_A baby_

_A baby_

He slowed to a complete stop right in the middle of the store, the biggest, widest, truest grin crossing his face, and just read the items over and over, unable to stop smiling.

Hayden was still looking around the store, oblivious to the goofy look on his employer's face. "You know, I bet if we split the list and I took half the stuff, we'd get this done faster. What did she want?"

Johnny immediately crumpled the list in his hand when Hayden leaned over to see. Without a word, he stuffed it into his pocket and strode forward, ignoring his friend's bewildered looks.

"John?" Hayden quickly followed him down the aisle, all the way to the jewelry section. "Hello?"

"Hi." Johnny leaned his arm on the glass counter, smudging it, but the saleslady had already recognized him and would have let him lick each individual piece of jewelry if that was what it took to keep his business. "I need some help."

"Of course, Mister Zacchara," she smiled back, sounding perhaps a little too eager. "What are you looking for?"

His eyes were shining brilliantly, and his fingers tapped restlessly on the case. "I'm looking for a gift for my wife."

"Okay." The saleslady was already gesturing to the various new collections on display. "These rings here are direct from Harry Winston's new collection, and these necklaces are real lapis lazuli, very in right now."

"Actually…" He leaned closer, still smiling. "What can you show me by way of silver spoons?"

* * *

_At Crimson Manor…_

Nadine had yards and yards of her cranberry-and-popcorn chain coiled up and sitting on the counter, waiting for Corwin and Simon to put up on the tree in her private parlor. When she was done with it she had tried to give the bowl of leftover cranberries and popcorn to Claudia, who snorted and said she didn't eat those things. Nadine was too smart to argue with her based on something as trivial as facts.

Now, she was in her private parlor with one of her vinyl records playing and a fire roaring, organizing her music collection. With the music on, she didn't hear her husband enter the room and didn't even know he was there until his arms wrapped again around her waist and his lips found her cheek.

Nadine grinned as he slowly turned her in his arms, dropping hot kisses along her neck and jaw before their lips finally met. Johnny didn't bother with any greetings and instead kissed her slowly, soundly, thoroughly until Nadine's knees turned to water.

His eyes fluttered closed when he finally pulled back and rested his forehead against hers, and Nadine couldn't help but smile as she gently stroked his cheek.

"I take it you decided to get a jump start on my Christmas shopping."

"Haven't gotten that far," he grinned, laughing nervously as his arms tightened around her. In his pocket was a silver spoon engraved with their surname, boxed up for her to open whneever he gave it to her. It was a Zacchara tradition, presented upon the news of the first child of the new generation.

"Figured we could get started on it together."


	9. 9: Baby, One More Time

**Note – **This one cracks me up like you would not BELIEVE. Also, writing porn is so awkward. I feel like such a colossal skeev-ball before, during, and after.

**#9: Baby, One More Time**

**NC-17**

Baby-making was exhausting work.

Johnny Zacchara had only recently figured this out. Around Christmas time, when they started trying for one, they weren't very serious about it. Both he and Nadine were still busy with the day-to-day activities regarding their respective businesses and were still very much enjoying being married, just the two of them. So when they started trying, all that meant was that he was able to forgo the condoms and they just had sex a little more often than they used to.

A few months passed with no results on the baby front and excellent results for the Sunshine Factory. The first batch of Nadine's toys went out through their distributor and the products were met with great reviews. Nadine had already lined up preliminary buyers in General Hospital, nearby Mercy Hospital, and even New York Presbyterian, where she had accompanied Nikolas to seek treatment for his tumor many years ago. Based on the good press the products received there, the orders came in from other area hospitals, some small, some large, that wanted to try the new toys out in their respective pediatrics wings.

The Sunshine Factory had settled into its own rhythm. Johnny knew from experience that each business had its own rhythm, and he was happy that his wife was finally able to enjoy success. Designing colorful, safe, and even a smaller line of educational toys (this subdivision of the Sunshine Factory was called the "Photosynthesis Phactory") was tremendously rewarding for her, and with the first batch out in the market, she had much more free time now to sit back and design the next line.

Because of this, Nadine decided that it was a perfect time to pursue their baby-making goals more diligently. She knew how to delegate, something Johnny was still trying to improve on personally, and was more than happy to leave the minute details of the business to her production managers, choosing not to micromanage and let things work out the way they would.

This shift in her focus meant that Johnny was on a strict schedule. Being a nurse, Nadine was able to carefully monitor all appropriate signs and conditions (he wasn't too good with the technical terms; frankly, if he never heard the words "cervical mucus" again, he'd die happy) that marked her fertility cycle, and they proceeded accordingly.

Johnny was well used to walking into the bedroom to wash up for lunch when he came home in the middle of the day and being grabbed and flung down onto the bed. The first dozen times or so, it had been very exciting. Then he started feeling like a piece of meat. Still, he was okay with this because it meant he got laid. Frequently. And that was _never_ a bad thing.

If he had one complaint – one teeny, tiny, almost negligible for all intents and purposes, complaint – it was that things had gotten very predictable and structured. He loved having sex with his wife, there could be no mistake, but now the sex and their enjoyment of it and each other was secondary to the Golden Goal: make a baby.

Make a baby, make a baby, make a baby.

Normally, Nadine hated it when he fell asleep after they had sex. Normally, she'd go to great lengths just to make sure he stayed up, and wasn't above bringing chocolate bars and ice cream to the bedroom so that he had a quick sugar jolt afterwards to keep him up. And when that failed, she'd just pinch him. Or threaten him. Or mention his sister.

He had yet to be able to fall back into a hazy, pleasant, fuzzy sex-coma sleep after that.

Ugh.

But ever since they'd adopted the Golden Goal at all costs, she didn't mind at all. In fact, she was the one that would either turn over onto her back and conk out if they were going at it at night, or get up and get back to work if she had other things to do. It wasn't that he minded that she was tired or had other commitments but the fun and the spontaneity, even some of the intimacy, felt like it was lacking.

Just a little.

The sex was still good, though.

Johnny parked on the street since he'd be leaving in two hours anyway for a meeting, and trotted up the walkway to their house, making sure the gate was latched behind him. Buying the house on Cherry Blossom Lane had been one of the best ideas he'd ever had, and he and Nadine were quite happy there. This adjustment in living situations meant that Crimson Manor became mainly a place of business where he and Claudia could get their work done and where the family could have formal dinners with associates. 235 Cherry Blossom Lane was all his and Nadine's.

She wasn't in the living room, which didn't surprise him. She was hardly ever in the living room. That room was mainly one that they used for the express purpose of not using: it was to remain clean and untouched for the purposes of company. Of course, whenever company came over, everyone always found their way to the family room anyway, so the purpose was somewhat defeated, but Johnny was smart enough to know not to bring this up.

Nadine wasn't in the family room, either, nor was she in the kitchen. However, there was a bottle of mustard sitting out on the counter, which led Johnny to believe that there might be a sandwich prepared just for him somewhere in this house. Sometimes, when she knew he would be cutting it close on his lunch break, Nadine made him a sandwich and let him eat it in bed when they were done fooling around. It. Was. Awesome.

"Nadine?" He looked around the main floor one more time before heading for the stairs to find his crazy wife, who might spaz out on him because thanks to his tardiness, they were five minutes late in getting it on. "Nadine, where are you?"

She wasn't in their bedroom, she wasn't in the bathroom, she wasn't even in the guest bedroom.

"Nadine?"

"In here!"

Aha, she was in her office. Well, it wasn't so much an office as it was a playroom. Nadine filled it with her favorite movies and music and things like that. There were stuffed animals everywhere, plenty of pipe cleaners and other whirly-gigs he didn't recognize, pinwheels, a gum ball machine, posters of the New Kids on the Block and Johnny Depp from 21 Jump Street plastered all over the walls, a massive stereo with Hello Kitty stickers all over it, and a bunch of toys from her new line. It was the room his wife retreated to when she was looking for inspiration for her products, and she'd spend hours in there sometimes on the lone twin bed covered in a Cabbage Patch Kids comforter, sketching and planning and experimenting and cracking herself up all the while.

It was very strange.

And it freaked Claudia out so much that she crossed herself every single time she stepped onto the second floor at their place.

Johnny pushed the door all the way open and saw her moving around the bed, wearing a pair of plum-colored cotton hipsters and a white t-shirt that only barely covered her bottom. "Hey. What are you doing in here?"

Nadine grinned and bounded up to him, fisting her hands in his black t-shirt. "You."

And with that, Johnny was once again flung down onto the twin bed, which was so small that he doubted that the two of them would even be able to fit if they lay down together. "But-"

Instead of joining him, his wife flashed him a cheeky grin and hopped over to her stereo, and Johnny watched in confusion as she pulled a CD out of its case and slid it into the drive. "You stay right there, this will only take a second."

She was humming to herself as she skipped to the track she wanted, and Johnny still wasn't following. They hardly ever had music playing when they made love. If they did, it was purely by accident and not at all intentional. Although he had to say, he thoroughly enjoyed that one time they'd made love to Mozart. It had been mind-blowing, more so for him than for her but then again, he was the music man in the family.

He heard the song come on just then, some strange melodic line that he knew wasn't from one of his favorites, and frowned. It sounded so...campy and simpering and commercial.

"What – What is that? What are you doing?"

Nadine answered his demands by grinning and hopping up onto the bed to straddle him. "I told you, I'm doing you."

Johnny twisted underneath her when she leaned down to kiss him. Several boys were starting to whine on the track. "No, no, what _is_ that? Oh, Jesus, it's awful."

Nadine only laughed. "They're the Backstreet Boys. And yes, they're awful."

He tried unsuccessfully to unseat her as she began kissing his neck. "Then why-damn it, Nadine-why are we listening to them?"

She had scored his sensitive skin with her teeth and sucked him into her mouth, leaving him branded, which was why he swore, and Nadine ran her hands down his chest. "We're listening to them because they're one of the bands whose songs I used to make out to in junior high."

Johnny blinked, positive he'd heard wrong as his wife grappled with the hem of his shirt, trying to edge it up higher so she could touch him. "What?!"

She lifted herself up long enough to let her hair down. She shook it out, ran a hand through it to tame it, and smirked. "Don't worry, you and I are going to do a _lot_ more than just make out to them. No need to be jealous."

He sputtered something unintelligible when her mouth claimed his, and after a few seconds of that, Johnny entirely forgot what he wanted to say. Nadine was on top of him, the inside of her thighs pressing against his legs, her hands roaming and probing and stroking and squeezing, and her tongue was dancing with his, and nothing could have ruined the sensations he was feeling.

...Until those Backdoor Boys started caterwauling even _louder_. And whinier, if it were at all possible.

Wait, was that what they were called? Backdoor, Backroad, Backbay...

Shit! Why did he care?

Johnny turned his head to the side, removing his mouth from hers, and breathed deeply. "Nadine, can we-"

But his wife wasn't listening. Instead, she was tugging at his shirt, pushing it higher and higher until she was pushing his arms with it and Johnny had no choice but to let her take it off and fling it aside before she bent and scattered hot, wet, open-mouthed kisses all up and down his chest.

Johnny groaned and tangled his fingers in her hair, putting up with the awful music only because of the delicious, hot, swirling feeling Nadine was whipping up in him. She raked her nails down his side and then took the time to scatter feather-light touches and kisses up and down his chest as the song (thankfully) wound down.

Fool that he was, Johnny breathed a sigh of relief that the torture was over, but then stiffened when the next track began to play.

"...Nadine?"

She moved lower along his body so that she could easily undo his belt, and Johnny lifted his hips almost helplessly so that she could take it off and start to ease his pants down.

"Nadine?"

She was obviously ignoring him, and Johnny was about to let her have it when she stretched out and crushed her mouth to his just as she reached into his boxers and touched him. He moaned into her mouth and let his hand skim up her side, pushing that small t-shirt higher and higher, his rough palms smoothing over her soft skin. And just when he'd almost lost himself in the heady sensations, Johnny winced and pulled away from her.

"What the hell is an mmm-bop?"

Nadine laughed and stroked the length of him, pumping him in her hand, and ignored him. This left Johnny feeling frustrated, aroused, and a little panicked. Her fingers circled the tip of him, continuously moving, and he closed his eyes on a groan as she nibbled along his jaw before kissing him again.

"Is this song even in English?"

The words were muffled against her mouth, and Johnny frantically pulled her t-shirt up higher. Nadine had to relinquish her hold on him in order to take it off, and he kicked off his pants and sent both articles to the floor. She responded by shoving his boxers down, freeing his erection, and moved half on top of him. Her long hair tickled his chest, fluttering against it like a swarm of butterflies, and Johnny moved his hand high up the inside of her thigh, boldly probing her.

Nadine bit her lip, her eyes closed as she loomed above him, and as entranced as he was Johnny's curiosity got the best of him.

"So are these girls singing or boys? Are we supposed to be confused?"

Nadine let out an exasperated little shriek and kissed him hard, removing all thoughts of the boy band he did not know to be Hanson. Johnny accepted her aggressive advance and tugged on the bottom of her hipsters, slipping a finger inside to trace her swollen slit and causing her to bite down on his lower lip.

He kept it up, not even realizing that the song had ended. If he had, he would have given profound thanks and then promptly burned that awful CD. The next track started to play but he was too involved with his wife to even hear the opening chords.

Nadine kicked off her underwear and straddled him, flipping her hair over her shoulder before she moved and slowly took him in, and Johnny held his breath. His sheer concentration in that moment, however, was ruined when the sounds of the song playing filtered through. His eyes widened and he jolted up until he was half propped up on his elbows.

"Is that-"

She put a finger to his lips and tilted her pelvis, causing his eyes to glaze over, but even that wasn't enough to ameliorate the sheer horror.

"Oh, God. Oh, no."

Nadine chuckled, unable to help herself, and planted her hands on his chest in order to push herself up, then came down again.

Johnny threw his head back with a groan. "Fuck!"

The saccharine sweet voice filled the small room. _Show me how you want it to be, tell me, baby, 'cause I need to know now, because..._

"Stop! We can't make love to Britney Spears!"

Nadine whisked her damp hair out of her face, smirking wickedly down at him as she began to move faster, and Johnny, bless him, did his best to resist.

"No! No! Nadine, I won't stand for – fuck!"

_When I'm not with you I lose my mind. Give a siiiiiiiiign. Hit me, baby, one more time!_

"NoNoNoNoNoNO!"

She angled her body forward and had to bite down hard on her lip when the fiery sensations swept through her, and Nadine kept her weight carefully balanced so that her husband couldn't unseat her. The poor guy, he'd actually started to panic.

"Nadine." His voice had an edge of warning to it but trembled just enough to let her know he was close. "We cannot conceive a child to Britney Spears. I won't allow it."

_Oh, pretty baby, there's nothing that I wouldn't do. That's not the way I planned it._

She let out a laugh, evil woman, and her eyes twinkled with mirth at the fact that he honestly thought he could resist conception on principle.

"Nadine," he tried again, clenching his jaw when he heard his voice waver as he got even closer. "If we conceive a child to a Britney Spears song, that child will hate us. And it would be right to do so."

But he was too late. Nadine's fingers dug into his shoulders as her muscles clamped down around him for several seconds before her rigid body relaxed and started to slump. That was when Johnny found his release, rolling them over at the last minute so that Nadine was under him, her legs wrapped securely around his waist just the way he liked.

It took a while before his breathing returned to normal and Johnny was able to prop himself up on shaky arms. Nadine smiled up at him, looking sated and perfectly content, and somehow he managed a stern glare as he rolled over and onto his other side. He kept her hand in his as he did so, pulling her along so that she was pressed up against his back, her hand held in his over his heart.

Johnny growled under his breath, scowling at the three-foot-tall Winnie the Pooh that stood in the corner, and felt her body shake in laughter against his.

"Oh, come on, that was _hilarious_."

Somehow he fought a smile. "I feel violated."

_Hit me, baby, one more time!_

"Oh, turn that goddamn thing off."

Nadine kissed the back of his neck, making him feel warm all over. "What, you don't want to hear _Bye, Bye, Bye_?"

"Nadine, I swear to God-"

She quickly turned around and jabbed at the power button, turning the thing off just like he'd asked. "You're such a boy."

Nadine settled against him again, her hand finding its way into his once more, and they lay together in silence for a long moment before the corner of Johnny's mouth quirked up.

"You think we'll have a boy?"

She smiled against his back. "Why? You want a boy first?"

"I don't really care," he replied honestly. "As long as the baby's healthy and happy. Yeah, it's important to have a male heir to take over the business from me one day, but I'd be happy if we only had daughters. So what do you think?"

"Honestly?" Nadine tucked her hair behind her ear and kissed the nape of his neck again where the dark hair faded into olive-toned skin. "Somehow, I've always seen you with a little girl. With dark hair and blue eyes and little red patent leather shoes."

Johnny laughed, the sound full, rich, and almost melodic. "That's what Claudie says."


	10. Turn, Turn, Turn

**#10: Turn, Turn, Turn**

He found her at the far end of the counter, finishing off the last of her whiskey, and Johnny scowled and stalked toward her.

"There you are." He practically spat the words at her, and Claudia barely batted a lash at him. "Figures that you'd take off and hide in the corner of the bar. We have to talk."

His sister set down her empty glass and looked up at him blandly. "About what?"

Johnny gaped at her, lips parted, and then smacked a hand down on the counter, exacting a small measure of satisfaction when Claudia jumped a little. "You made my wife _cry_ – what do you think?!"

"Oh. That." She took a small sip of her drink, looking decidedly and deliberately bored. "So? Go ahead. Talk."

"Cut the bullshit, Claudia." His voice was low and tight, and her little brother most definitely was not amused. "Why'd you do it? What the _hell_ did you have to gain from making her cry?"

Claudia snorted. "Oh, come on. I didn't even do anything. It's those hormones, all those stupid hormones. They fried up her brain and now she cries if you even look at her cross-eyed."

He wasn't buying it. "You told her that she ruined the family."

She shifted guiltily. "So?"

"YOU TOLD HER THAT SHE RUINED THE FAMILY!" he bellowed. "Our family! By getting _pregnant!_ What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"She didn't have to take me seriously!"

He covered his face with his hands and tried to remember how to breathe. It had been like this ever since he and Nadine announced that they were expecting. Big mistake. Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig fucking mistake. Between the tabloids, his father, and his batshit insane sister, it was enough to make Johnny want to carry Nadine off to an island somewhere where she could spend the rest of her pregnancy in peace.

"Claudia."

She batted her lashes at him. "Yes?"

Johnny lowered his hands and stared directly at her. "I have a crying pregnant woman at home. And for _once_, it's not my fault. So here's what you're going to do."

Claudia pulled a face. "I'm not going to do anything. I don't know who the hell you think you are, buddy, but-"

But her little brother was in no mood. "You are going to get your ass off that stool and come home with me to 235. You are going to _apologize_ to my wife and tell her that she did not ruin the family. I don't even give a fuck if you mean it or not, you're going to say it and you're going to grovel if that's what she wants, do you hear me?"

"I am _not_ going to do any of those things," Claudia squawked. "And I'm definitely not going to grovel to that –that- that stupid Vacuum Girl!"

"Claudia, so help me God…"

"No! No, you know what? No. I won't." She crossed her arms defiantly over her chest. "And guess what else? I'm right. She did ruin the family. So you can just march your whipped ass back to her and tell her that."

His blood was humming hot through his veins and his face was growing redder by the second, and even though she had never, _ever_ seen her little brother this angry, Claudia still didn't back down.

"You do realize that's my child you're talking about, right?" Johnny ground out through gritted teeth. "That is my _child_ that you're claiming is ruining the family."

"Oh, the kid has nothing to do with this."

He wanted to tear his hair out. Hand to God, he wanted to tear his own hair out.

Or maybe he'd start by tearing _her_ hair out…

Now that was a promising idea.

"Would you like to explain to me how 'the kid' has nothing to do with this?" he asked with feigned lightness.

Claudia rolled her eyes. "Whatever, John. Come find me when you're through being an idiot."

"No, I don't think so." He reached out, surprising them both, and grabbed her upper arm forcefully and spun her around. "You're not walking away from this, Claudia. And if you don't get the fuck off this and start making sense, _I'm _the one that will be walking away. From you. You sure you'll be able to handle that? Let's not pretend that I need you more than you need me, because we both know that's a lie."

She pressed her lips together, having nothing to say to that. It was true enough: John was her family, but the difference was that he had his own family apart from her.

"This kid is going to change everything."

He blinked, the anger slowly fizzling out of him at her quiet, shaky statement and the tears barely starting to glisten in her eyes. "Excuse me?"

"This baby," she shrugged helplessly, tucking her hair behind her ears. "It's going to change everything."

Johnny stared at her for a long moment before finally shrugging back. "Well, sure, it is."

Claudia's lips parted and before he could dodge her, she had reached out and smacked him hard in the arm. "You're not supposed to _say_ that!"

Oh, God, women. They were going to be the end of him. Yet another reason he hoped this child was a boy: he was already pitifully outnumbered as it was.

"What?!"

"You're not supposed to say that," she repeated seriously, as if it made sense in some parallel universe. "You're supposed to say, no, Claudie, this baby isn't going to change anything between us, we'll be the same as we always were."

"But it _will_ change everything," Johnny repeated dumbly.

"Ergh!" She waved her fists in his face and stomped around him to the bar counter. "Get me another, my usual. Yeah, thanks."

He sighed heavily and plopped down on the stool next to her. "Claudia."

"Go away. Go make more babies."

"Can't until we evacuate this one," he replied easily. "Seriously. Claudia."

"No."

He didn't exactly know what she was saying no to, but it didn't really matter. He signaled the bartender to give him whatever she was having and before long had a Jack and Coke served to him. Claudia stirred hers idly, glowering down at it as if it was responsible for her problems.

"You know, you could go out and have a baby, too. That'd show me."

She huffed and laid her head down on her arms as if she were a small child, and Johnny knew his joke didn't land.

"Okay, Claudie, seriously. Look at me."

"No."

He sighed and turned her stool around so that she had no choice. "Listen. Just listen, okay? Yeah, this baby is going to change everything. For all of us. But…it's not going to be all bad."

"Easy for you to say."

"And why is it so easy for me to say?"

"Because." She threw her hands up in the air. "It's…it's your baby. Yours. It's your family."

"So?"

"No, I mean…" Claudia was visibly struggling to explain. "Look, it's you and Nadine, and baby makes three. Your little nuclear family is complete."

He blinked at her, unable to believe that this was what it all hinged on. "Claudie…this baby will be your family, too. You know that, right?"

"It's not going to be the same."

"No, it's going to be better," Johnny replied firmly. "Come on, Claudie, remember when we were kids? Remember how we both wanted more brothers and sisters but we kept our mouths shut because we didn't want to screw those kids over by having Dad for a…dad?"

"Yeah…"

"And remember how happy you were when me and Nadine got married, because it meant you had a sister?"

Her jaw dropped. "I was _not_ happy-"

"Okay, remember how you _tolerated_ having Nadine for a sister?"

"Yeah…"

"That's just what this is going to be like," he tried to explain. "Someone new to add to the family. Only this one won't be all screwed up because it'll never know Dad. This one will actually grow up happy and safe and loved, and part of that will be because of you."

She perked up a little. "Because of me?"

"Sure," Johnny replied, meaning it. "You'll have a dark-haired, corn-pone little kid hopped up on moonshine, bouncing around the house and calling you Aunt Claudie."

He laughed when she made a face. "Look, you'll have a niece or a nephew. Someone who won't be tied down with the same baggage we're tied down with. Someone who will inherit the Zacchara name without inheriting the horror that came along with it for us. Someone who will look at you and not see a killer or a businesswoman or a hard-ass, but will just see…you. Someone who'll learn from you, someone who'll look up to you, someone who'll love you."

She braced her chin in her hand and looked down at her untouched drink, and Johnny gently shook her knee.

"Things _will_ be different for this family," he said quietly. "There's no getting around that. A kid changes everything. But you're not the only one whose life will change because of this. We'll all be in this together. This is me and Nadine's first kid – we've never done this before. Shit, we're still not convinced we know how to do this. And me – well, I'll just be crossing my fingers and praying to Jesus, Mary, and whoever else will listen that I don't turn out to be a father just like my own."

That got her attention and Claudia shook her head vehemently. "Not going to happen, not a chance."

"You know what I'm glad for?"

"What?"

He tilted his head to the side. "That even if I screw up sometimes, this kid's not going to feel it as badly as we did when Dad screwed up…which was all the time. Because this kid's going to have you and Nadine in its life. It'll have two women in its life that are strong and smart and will do whatever it takes to keep the kid safe. That's more than what we had going for us. Our mothers weren't in a position to do much of anything to keep us safe from Dad."

Claudia nodded along slowly, considering all the ways in which the life of the newest member of the Zacchara family would be different from hers and John's.

"You know…"

He took a sip of his drink and glanced at her. "Yeah?"

"…I maybe shouldn't have told Nadie that she ruined the family."

"Maybe," Johnny agreed, playing along.

"Is she crying real bad?"

"Yeah."

Claudia let out a heavy sigh. "…Then I guess I should go tell her to knock it off, huh?"

He had to physically work to hide his smile. "I guess so."

"…Would it help if I brought along some flowers or something?"

He slid off the stool when she did and followed her out. "You know, I'd say it was worth a shot."

"I draw the line at those stupid stuffed animal things, though. I am _not_ getting that for her. I don't care _how many_ babies she's got stuffed up in there, I'm never getting her a stupid stuffed animal."

"Perish the thought, Claudie."


	11. Baby Love

**Note** - written by a girl who's also a dead ringer for her prissy, snobby, brassy aunt, in just about every way possible.

**#11: Baby Love**

**.: General Hospital, maternity ward :.**

Claudia sighed unhappily as she flipped through her magazine. The hospital had the absolute worst stash in the world – all of them were about parents and babies and medical breakthroughs. Who gave a shit about any of those things? She was _so_ glad she'd had the presence of mind to bring a couple two-inch thick issues of Vogue Italy when her brother called her and told her to get to the hospital.

This was all horribly unfair, to her way of thinking. She'd been summoned here like some sort of dog because of the events in _someone else's_ life, and was made to sit here like a child, counting down the hours until God knew what. Claudia Zacchara didn't sit around killing time all by herself, and yet that was exactly what she was doing, somehow.

Ric wasn't around; he was off working on some contracts, otherwise he would have been the one to keep her company. Nikolas, whom she'd recently gotten back together with, was off in Greece teaching that kid of his about his heritage or something stupid like that. Reivers was back at Crimson Manor making phone calls, stupid butler. John was running around somewhere, talking to the doctors and nurses, and Nadine was off having a baby or being in labor or something.

Something stupid and time-consuming like that.

Claudia sighed and looked up at the clock. Bah.

With a sigh, she put down her magazine and reached for the other one, but not before locking the first one up in her stylish attaché leather tote. She wasn't sharing. No matter how boring the hospital's magazines were.

Stupid kid. It should totally just come out already so that she could go home. And maybe get a hair cut or something. If she found another split end, she was going to kill someone.

Admittedly, Claudia Zacchara just wasn't interesting in babies. They were small and required too much delicate care, and she wasn't much into that. She didn't even use the delicate care setting on the washing machine…that one time she had to do her own laundry because the maid's mother died.

On top of that, babies were loud. And annoying. And she didn't need that in her life. They also smelled bad most of the time, due to the whole not having control of their bodily functions thing. Basically, babies were just one long alimentary control: what went in one end came out the other, no fuss but plenty of mess.

But she had to admit, too, that John and Nadine had really warmed to the idea of bringing one home and had taken appropriate steps toward that end, so she figured she'd indulge and humor them for a while. Maybe having a little kid around the house would be nice, like John said. Maybe it would be rewarding in some small, stupid, sticky way.

She figured she'd give it a month. If the baby wasn't seriously rewarding to her personally by that point, she was out.

After all, one month was the same time she gave a pair of shoes to break in properly or else they were thrown out; she figured it wasn't unreasonable to apply the same standard to breaking in a child.

Hm.

Maybe she'd better not use that 'breaking in' language when talking about a child. She'd heard there were laws against that sort of thing or something.

Claudia looked at the clock again and growled when she saw that the second hand had only moved by one number. Muttering obscenities under her breath, she returned to her magazine.

After a while – she wasn't sure how long – Claudia became vaguely aware of footsteps approaching. She ignored them, hoping the person to whom they belonged would pick up the hint and walk away instead of actually trying to talk to her when she was in such a terrible mood, but alas, the person was none too smart.

The person turned out to be the mother of that stupid child army, Elizabeth Morgan. How one woman could ever want to pop that many babies out of her body and still think she was relatively attractive was entirely beyond Claudia. But then again, Claudia was finding herself forever baffled by the behavior of stupid women. If all women were like her, there wouldn't be any problems. Of this, she was sure.

She was dressed in dark blue scrubs with a pale blue cap and white sneakers, and the whole look screamed pre-pubescent boy and Claudia didn't appreciate it. And for some reason, Oatmeal Morgan seemed oddly excited.

"Hi," she smiled, lacing her fingers together and bouncing slightly on her toes. "I know you've been sitting here for a while and I thought I'd let you know – Nadine's doing great. The contractions are about eight minutes apart and she's dilated at-"

Claudia rolled her eyes and waved her hand practically in Elizabeth's face, not even wanting to know what part of Nadine's body was dilated at whatever. "Yeah, yeah, peddle it elsewhere, Oatmeal, no one cares."

Elizabeth huffed under her breath and turned on her heel, stomping back down the hallway, and Claudia wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Stupid woman with her stupid babies…

God, she had to get out of here.

She looked up at the clock and bit her lip, thinking. If John found out that she was gone, there would be no dealing with him. For some reason, he wanted her ass parked out here all day, no matter the personal inconvenience.

Well, maybe she could just sneak out for lunch. A liquid lunch, of course. But if she accidentally overimbibed a little because of all the babies in this world that were causing her to break out in hives with their existence and their constant demands for attention and things she couldn't give them, then John was _really_ going to be pissed at her.

Hm. Maybe a cocktail or two would be all right. She'd come back and no one would know. She'd get a sandwich from some crappy little café on the corner so that if John wanted to know where she was, she could hold it up and be like, getting a sandwich, jerk, duh, or do you want me to starve while your wife births things?

But that might backfire on her: John knew she never ate sandwiches. In fact, he knew of her personal crusade _against_ sandwiches…and why she never let Cook bring mayonnaise into the house, despite all her wailing about something called 'potato salad' that Nadine was apparently fond of for some stupid hick reason.

That girl and her podunk food. They'd be lucky if this kid didn't pop out wearing overalls and spitting out 'tobacky' juice while playing a fiddle. Or a banjo.

Fucking banjos.

Maybe she could just go outside for a breath of air and a cigarette. That would probably be all right…except then John would start being a pansy about second-hand smoke. He'd stopped smoking entirely when he and Nadine started trying seriously for a baby, and he always pitched a fit if she smoked before coming over to visit them at their stupid white-picket-fence house on Cherry Blossom Lane.

Ooh, maybe this would be a good time to use one of her decoys. She had a couple when she needed to avoid sticky situations with the paparazzi, like at John and Nadine's wedding. She also used them for business matters when her life was in danger. Yeah, this would be a _fabulous _time to get one of her decoys on the job…

"Claudia. Claudia!"

She snapped out of her silent reverie to find her brother standing in front of her with barely concealed excitement.

"What do you want?"

"We did it," he beamed. "We have a little girl. She's with the nurses now but they're bringing her back. Come on."

Claudia made a face. "Can't I just go home and take a bath instead?"

Johnny arched a brow humorlessly. "Claudia…"

"I mean, it's here, that's great," she said, "but it's not like it's going to shake my hand and ask me about the Yanks when I walk in."

He planted one hand on his hip and used the other to point down the hallway. "You are going to get over there and congratulate Nadine and meet your niece. Move!"

She hopped to her feet when he yelled and, grumbling, walked down the hall to her sister-in-law's room. "You're so mean to me," she huffed, frowning at him over her shoulder. "And I'm always only nice to you."

~*~*~*~*~*~

"I saw it. Can I go get a drink now? I've been in this room for, like, an hour."

Johnny glared at her as Nadine hid her smirk. She was propped up in bed with Johnny at her side and their newborn daughter in her arms. She tickled under the baby's chin and her eyes glowed when it snuffled, but Claudia wasn't moved.

"It's cute," she recited, "it's cute and it smells like baby powder and…and…I'm sure it'll be a lot of fun one day. Can I go_ now_?"

"You don't want to hold her?" Nadine carefully brushed a damp lock of hair out of her face and then soothed the baby when it gurgled. She looked exhausted and sweaty, and pale and gross without makeup, but even Claudia had to admit that she was glowing. Motherhood almost suited her…if it could suit anyone.

Claudia crinkled her nose. "Not really."

Johnny glared at her again, even more sternly this time, and Nadine wasn't fazed by her refusal. "You sure? Oh, come on, don't be afraid. They're fragile, sure, but they won't break if you touch them. It's easy, don't worry. Here. Johnny?"

He took the little girl from her arms, rocking her when she let out a tiny little wail, and slowly made his way over to his sister. The baby was wrapped up in the monogrammed pink cashmere blanket that Reivers had guilted her into purchasing for the new parents, and wore a cute little pink cap. Probably because she was bald and it wasn't a flattering look for any woman, Claudia assumed.

"No, it's okay," she said, backing away a little as Johnny approached. "Really. I don't want to drop her."

"You're not going to drop her," Johnny answered with a smile. As soon as he was close enough, he lowered his voice and leaned closer. "You _better_ not drop her, do you understand me? There won't be a spot on this earth where you can hide…"

"Go ahead, Claudia," Nadine encouraged, not privy to her husband's threats. "Go on."

She shot Johnny a helpless look but he ignored her and instead placed the baby in her arms. Once he was absolutely sure her arms were locked in place, he gently pulled the little girl's cap off and returned to his wife's side.

Claudia stared at the baby's head, fascinated by the downy black hair that covered her head. She'd always thought most babies were bald. That little peanut Morgan had been bald for, like, almost a year after he was born. And even their little girl, the one born about six months ago, still looked like her neck was blowing a bubble.

But that black, black hair on her new niece's head gave her reason to pause, and Claudia was so transfixed that she actually jumped a little when the infant's tiny fingers brushed against her chin.

She let out a small sigh, but it still feathered through that dark hair, and the baby's long, curly lashes fluttered. She had eyelashes like John, thank God. Nadine's were all straight and blonde. Clearly, Italians were superior to American mutts when it came to eyelashes.

Nadine and Johnny were seated on the bed and were watching her reaction, even though they had no chance at knowing what Claudia was thinking.

"Did you finish filling in the forms?"

Johnny nodded. "Yeah. Haven't given them to Elizabeth yet. You want to see?"

Nadine took them when he held them out and quickly scanned the page. "Amalia Rayleen. Nice ring to it, don't you think?"

Claudia, whose thumb was now in the infant's weak little grip – the primary defect of babies: weakness, also stupidity – looked over at them. "That's what you named her?"

The new parents nodded proudly.

"Yup," Johnny announced. "Amalia because it's kind of similar to Maria. And because it's unmistakably Italian."

"And Rayleen for my aunt," Nadine finished, "who was always more of a mom to me than anyone else. She's named for two of the most important women in our lives. We would've snuck a little 'Claudia' or 'Claudette' at the very least in there, but we figured you'd resent not being the only Claudie in the family."

"She would have," Johnny agreed with a snicker as Claudia's gaze returned to little Amalia. "She would've pitched a fit."

Nadine let out a laugh and laced her fingers through his. "Oh, God, can you imagine?"

Claudia gently wiggled her finger, taking the baby's hands with hers, and the corner of her mouth quirked up when the baby's eyes finally opened. Her lips were parted and she let out a snuffling little breath as her eyes drifted around the room and finally came to a rest on the thick, dark lock of hair that fell over Claudia's shoulder. With her free hand, she reached for it and hesitantly tangled her little fingers in the hair.

Claudia smirked and tickled under Amalia's chin just like she'd seen Nadine do, and then looked over at her joyous brother and sister-in-law.

"She might be named after the two most important women in your lives…"

Johnny was smiling at his wife and then turned to look at her. "Yeah?"

Claudia's smile grew wicked, and the blood drained out of Johnny and Nadine's faces at her next words. "…But she's going to grow up to be a dead ringer for _me_."

She grinned at their stricken expressions and her eyes glittered warmly when she looked back down at her niece. "Isn't that right, Amalia Rayleen Zacchara?"


	12. Best Friends Forever

**#12: Best Friends Forever**

**.: Crimson Manor :.**

Claudia's heels clicked on the floor as she walked down the hall to the offices she and Johnny shared. Her brother and his wife were all at the manor today and, of course, they brought it along because for some reason, it had to come along wherever they went. And God forbid she suggest they leave it at home so the three of them could go to Milan for the long weekend or something – boy, the protests that she got for that suggestion!

'It,' naturally, was her six-month old niece Amalia Rayleen. It was easier just to say 'it.' Saved her a whole lot of time.

"And I was thinking," Nadine was saying in her normally bright, chipper tone as she walked behind her, Amalia on her shoulder. "We could totally take Amalia to the zoo or something, just the two of us. We could put her in her little sun suit with that super cute hat…Ooh, we'd have to cover her in sun screen first. And we'd have to bring an extra big diaper bag. It'd be huge. You know, it might be smarter if we both took one diaper bag each rather than lugging along one huge one, you know?"

Claudia shuddered, not even bothering to hide her disgust. The only way to ever get her to carry a diaper bag for their little alimentary canal was by tricking her and telling her it was a giant Versace tote.

"Think of how cute it would be," Nadine sighed, still following her down the maze of hallways despite Claudia's efforts at dodging her. "We'd show her the lions and the tigers and the monkeys – and the Port Charles Zoo has that new butterfly tent! They'd admit babies into the butterfly tent, right? They probably would, especially if we have her in one of those baby-nap-sack things that you strap in front of your stomach. We could take turns doing that the whole day so that we don't get tired."

She wanted to vomit at the thought of the little feces factory strapped to her chest, but miraculously managed to keep it down as Nadine prattled on.

"Ooh! Ooh! The aquarium! We'd show her the sharks and the penguins and the otters! I bet she'd love the otters. They're so cute."

Furry little things that made noises until they were fed and served no as of yet ascertained purpose? Yeah, she was sure the peanut would relate splendidly to the otters.

"Or we could just take her to the park and chill," Nadine said happily. "We could pack a picnic lunch and bring along a checkered blanket and Amalia could play on the grass. We'd have to bring her Pack 'n' Play, and Mister Boggles, because she won't go anywhere for a long while without him, and we could dress her up in her little checkered dress with the little sandals and you and I could…"

They were right in the doorway of the offices where Johnny was checking the day's messages when suddenly, Claudia couldn't take it anymore.

"STOP!" she yelled, whirling on her sister-in-law and it. "Just stop! Stop with the zoo and the aquarium and the park and God knows what other happy-happy-joy-joy place you're set on going to. I am not Mary Poppins, I don't do things with babies, and I am _not_ your best friend and I don't care! I am not putting it in a sun suit and I am not carrying a diaper bag and I'm not eating food on the grass! So you can just stop it!"

Nadine and Amalia just stared at her, and even Johnny was just gaping at his sister's back. Nadine blinked a couple times and then lifted Amalia in her arms, grinning at the little girl when she cooed.

"You'll be my best friend, won't you, Lia?" She rubbed her nose with the baby's, making her laugh, and hugged her close to her neck, turning around and walking away. "Oh, yes, you will. And I will _never_ let you go."

Claudia scowled as her niece let out a happy little cry and gummed her fist, oblivious to all the torture she'd soon be in for, and turned around to her stupid brother. Johnny was about to scold her for being rude to his wife and potentially scaring his child, but Claudia was faster and smacked him upside the head.

"How," she demanded, pointing to her batty sister-in-law as he rubbed the back of his head, "could you think that giving _that_ a baby was a good idea?"

"I tried puppies and jewelry, but she just got bored a few hours later," he deadpanned.

Claudia shrieked and reached out as if to strangle him, then instead stomped past him to the desk, leaving Johnny to laugh at her.


	13. Feels Like Home

**Note – **This is the last TRG one shot. The story is officially over-over. Thanks for making it one of my favorite stories, and be sure to check out the TRG soundtrack in the Fanfiction Promos & Soundtracks forum. The cover art alone, I've been told, is worth the price of admission. Not that that's saying much: admission is free. Like everything on this site ever.

Also, please join the new Johnny and Nadine messageboard I started. The original one was shut down by its owners, and I figured that Nohnny ought to at least have one home online. It's small, but whatever. At least it's there. And please, someone else write fic for these two! I'm sick of reading just mine, and Amber doesn't update fast enough for my liking because she's a dumb whore! :-P

Link: http : // johnnyandnadine . proboards . com / (take out all the spaces from the URL)

**#13: Feels Like Home**

**.: Crimson Manor :.**

It was the fourth of July, which meant that it was time for their annual Fourth of July picnic lunch at Crimson Manor, followed by a fireworks display over Crimson Lake, usually set to old Disney music that Nadine loved. Last year, the orchestra had played 'I Just Can't Wait To Be King' from The Lion King and she didn't stop bouncing for an hour.

This year, they had Amalia with them, so they were thinking of just watching the fireworks from the backyard at Crimson Manor, far enough away so that the noises wouldn't scare her or damage her eardrums. The little girl was a little more than six months old and Johnny and Nadine were looking forward to her first real family picnic. They spent most of the year at their house on Cherry Blossom Lane so that Amalia could grow up like a normal kid, but decided to always retreat to their house in Crimson Pointe or their villa or other international locales the Zaccharas called home for the holidays, so that Amalia could better appreciate how special times like Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving and New Years were. Nadine's family always went all out during the holidays, and Johnny wanted to share that with their little one, too.

"Where did her socks go?"

Nadine adjusted her grip on the baby before passing her to Johnny. "I didn't put socks on her today. It's hot outside – I figured she didn't really need them. She'll just be crawling around in the grass, anyhow."

Johnny jiggled his daughter in his arms and patted her stomach over her cute little pink sun dress. "Good, good, I was afraid she took them off again. Remember, last time, Kane ate one?"

"I don't understand that dog's fascination with her clothes…" Nadine patted her thigh and their Irish wolfhound, no longer a pup, came bounding up to her. She opened the screen door and he galloped out onto the deck and into the yard, surely to chase rabbits and then present their bloody carcasses to Claudia when she came for a visit.

Oddly enough, Claudia never seemed to mind when he did that.

"I'm going to put her in the swing," Johnny called out, following the dog outside. "You good?"

"I'm just going to have Corwin bring out the rest of the flowers," Nadine called back, looking around for her favorite guard. "You got the grill set up?"

"Yeah." He closed the door with the toe of his sandals and walked across the deck. Amalia stretched when the sunlight hit her and immediately went forward with her plans to divest herself of her sunhat.

Miraculously, he managed to keep her in his arms while keeping her hat on her head as he trotted down the steps and onto the wide expanse of imported stone that formed the floor of their extensive backyard recreation area. A massive fireplace had been built on one corner of it, complete with chimney, and enormous clay flowerpots sat on the ledges that formed two concentric circles toward the outside of the area. He'd had a new spongy flooring set down once they had Amalia and started bringing her to the house so that she could crawl and walk around outside without getting hurt.

He gently placed her in the Fisher Price swing that hung from one of the willow trees right by the miniature courtyard and didn't bother picking up her hat when she threw it on the grass. Amalia bobbed away happily, bringing his attention to all sorts of 'buggies' that were crawling and flying around, and Johnny kept one eye on her while he set to work.

Grilling was one of his favorite things to do outside the house, mostly because his father never grilled and actually looked down on it as a lower culinary skill. For that reason, Johnny had a state-of-the-art grill installed not only at the house in Crimson Pointe, but also the one in Port Charles. Amalia was going to grow up knowing what it was like to have freshly-grilled burgers and sizzling corn on the cob on summer evenings, damn it. There was absolutely nothing wrong with that sort of food, no matter what Anthony wanted him to believe.

Before long, he had everything ready for when their guests arrived and was just dragging the extra can of propane somewhere where the kids couldn't get into it when Nadine came outside with the Morgan family in tow.

The first time Jason Morgan had dropped by Crimson Manor was right after the Black and White Ball at Nikolas's castle, and Johnny hadn't been pleased. But since then, the enforcer's visits hadn't been as unpleasant. Nadine and Elizabeth had always been friends because of work and bonded even more over their pregnancies. It helped, of course, that they were both carrying girls. It wasn't at all unusual for Elizabeth to catch him as he was leaving Kelly's and hand him a little pink hat she'd knitted for his soon-to-arrive daughter.

Because of the girls, Jason and Johnny ended up spending more time together than Johnny was sure either of them wanted to, but amazingly enough, it wasn't all bad. Jason was a decent guy when he wasn't around Sonny, and he would bet that Jason thought he was a decent guy when he wasn't around Claudia. Things worked out, and eventually they'd stopped using Spinelli as a buffer and were able to spend an evening together when the girls wanted a cozy dinner and a little play date for their daughters.

Even though Juliet Morgan – Jules, everyone called her – was a full six months older than Amalia, she got along well enough with her and they all hoped that the friendship would endure as the two grew older. Today, the toddler was wearing a sundress similar to Amalia's and telling her father something about ice cream as Jason carried her out into the yard, toward the bigger swing that Johnny had tied to the same branch as Amalia's so the girls could play together.

Cameron Morgan was nine years old now, at that awkward age where kids always pretended that they were too cool to go to the houses of their parents' friends, and had brought along his Nintendo DS. But he was a calm, well-mannered child with sober brown eyes and Elizabeth's sweet smile, so Johnny didn't mind one bit.

Jake, aged seven, was a different story. He was that delightful age where everything was interesting and every opinion made to be broadcast, and was the kind of kid that could make himself at home anywhere. And Johnny adored that about him.

He caught the boy around the waist and swung him high into the air, his little legs flailing, and turned him sideways, then upside down. He knew he'd always have a soft spot in his heart for the little boy his sister had once held at gunpoint to avenge his own supposed death.

"How's it going, kid?"

"Good," he chirped back, kicking his legs until Johnny set him down. "When are we going to eat?"

"Jake," Elizabeth admonished, and he knew it as the tone she had to use often with her middle child. So often, in fact, that it seemed a bit rehearsed and bored. "Don't be rude. We'll eat when we eat and not a minute sooner."

"That's not an answer," Jake muttered close to Johnny's ear, making him smile. "That's a Mom Answer. Which means 'be quiet even though we're all thinking the same thing.'"

"Good thing that tactics like that have never worked on you," Johnny replied benignly. It was also a good thing children didn't pick up sarcasm all that well.

"That's what Dad says." He watched his mother fuss over Jules in the swing before playing with Amalia, and looked up at him. "Hey, Mister Z, who else is coming? Mister Drake said they'd all come over tonight with Emma and Mal, for the fireworks, but who else?"

"Spence is coming later," Johnny replied automatically. His sister had already RSVP'ed for herself and the two Cassidine men, not that RSVPs were necessary for a casual family picnic. But Claudia didn't seem to understand that and claimed that a world where she didn't need to RSVP to something was a world she didn't want to live in. "He'll be a little late because his dad has a meeting today or something."

"His dad always has meetings," Jake muttered glumly. "I think dads who have that many meetings should just get better jobs. Otherwise, kids grow up weird."

"Really." Johnny stroked his chin sagely. "What about me or your dad? What do you think? Too many meetings? Too little? Just right?"

Jake actually considered this. "I don't think it matters."

He hadn't been expecting that. "Yeah? Why not?"

The little boy shrugged. "Because my dad has Mom and you have Mrs. Z. Even if you guys have a lot of meetings, they're always there. Spence doesn't have anyone like that. And I don't count the other Mrs. Z."

He was referring to Claudia, and Johnny just nodded. "No one does. But don't tell her that."

"Okay." Jake was looking around the yard, and his eyes lit up. "Ooh, are those Tonkas?"

Johnny grinned, following the kid's finger to the trucks he'd set out just for him. "Why don't you go see?"

Jake bounded away, calling for Cameron to come with him, and Johnny went inside to get the food. When he came out, Jason was standing by the grill, poking at it.

"New?"

"Yup," he nodded proudly, setting the uncooked burgers and dogs down on the stone platform. "Kalamazoo, state of the art. Can suck a whole can of propane dry in two and a half hours."

"Nice," Jason whistled, turning on the burners one by one only when Johnny nodded that he could.

"I'm going to have the gas line from the house doubled in capacity," he continued, "so that I don't have to mess with the tanks anymore. Too much of a hassle. Hopefully get that taken care of next week."

The enforcer was nodding. "Yeah, I've been thinking about getting something like this for our place."

This confused him. "Harborview allows this sort of thing? I thought you and Sonny were pretty strict about outdoor appliances and all that."

"At Elizabeth's house," Jason clarified, making him pause. "The old one. You know…234 Cherry Blossom. We're thinking of maybe moving back there for a while."

Johnny did his best to hide his surprise as he finished setting the massive grill to his liking. "Really. What brought this on? I thought you guys liked it well enough at Harborview."

Jason shifted his weight from one foot to another, watching his boys play trucks on the spongy turf. "…Figured it would be better for the kids to live at a real house instead of in a penthouse. You know, with other kids, in an actual neighborhood where an actual school bus swings by and all that."

"…You're going to let them go to school on the bus?"

"No," he replied automatically. "Elizabeth wants to, but I don't think it's safe enough. And if anything were to happen-"

"God forbid," Johnny filled in out of habit.

"-then it wouldn't just be our kids at risk, it would be all the kids in the bus." Jason shoved his hands into his pockets and continued to watch the boys play. "No, they'll still be driven around in our cars. But living in an actual house – it makes a big difference."

"So basically, what you're saying is, Cameron and Jake are being teased and ostracized for having a rich, powerful father," Johnny drawled lightly, laying out the ground beef patties.

Jason was silent for a minute. "…Cameron more so than Jake. Jake doesn't care, he'll say anything to anyone. If someone tries to get down on him for me being…richer than some of the other fathers in this town, he's the one that'll turn it around and rub it in their faces. He'll say that he'll take having a rich father if it means he's the one that gets better Christmas presents than anyone else, that sort of thing."

Johnny let out a laugh at that.

"But Cameron…he's quieter. He doesn't do that. He doesn't say anything to anyone, but things like that bother him more than he lets on. So Elizabeth and I were thinking that it might not be a bad idea to have the house remodeled – you know, with stronger glass and stuff – and move in again. Jake was too young, but Cameron remembers that house. Talks about it sometimes. He liked it there."

"It's a nice house," Johnny agreed, putting on his apron. He hated getting grease on his shirts. He picked up the tongs he'd be using and, thinking about it for a second, passed the extra pair to Jason. Ignoring the man's look of surprise before he started adding hot dogs to the grill, Johnny continued. "Nadine and I always liked it. She remembers when Elizabeth used to live there, even visited her and the kids there once or twice. Me, I didn't even know Elizabeth back then, but I've always liked the house."

Jason nodded, turning the dogs carefully and adjusting the burner settings. "…You had the right idea."

He was too busy adding seasoning to the burgers. "About what?"

"Keeping a normal house, living there," Jason explained. "You guys lived there for a while before you had Amalia, right?"

Johnny nodded. "Yeah. It was Nadine's idea. Well, it was mine, but only because she was getting a bit frustrated here. We always had guards walking around, and the maids and the staff, and Claudia, of course, has serious boundary issues…"

"And you guys were just newlyweds then," Jason smirked. "Yeah, I don't blame her. Elizabeth and I didn't go through that phase – we had the kids, and right away, too. Our main priority was keeping them safe and getting them settled the best we could."

"I do worry sometimes that our house in Port Charles is too…open," Johnny admitted. "Plainly speaking, I just feel safer here. I grew up here under lock and key – I was always safe. From the outside world."

Jason nodded but didn't say anything. He knew what Johnny meant.

"And, of course, Amalia's safety is my top priority, but I also don't want her growing up the way I did, in a museum of sorts. Nadine and I do the best we can but if things get dangerous, I'd pack them up and come here in a second. No question."

He glanced backward at the house. "Yeah, it's pretty much a fortress. Just like Harborview. Hard to get in. For you…it was hard to get out, I bet."

"Definitely," Johnny agreed. "I've often wondered how my childhood would have been different if we had a normal house, too, instead of just this one. I-I think it's a great idea, what you're doing. Moving the kids to Cherry Blossom Lane. The boys will have lots of kids their age to play with and the girls will grow up together, so that's something."

He cleared his throat as sounds of Elizabeth and Nadine's laughter reached them, and turned the burgers. "You done with the dogs?"

"Yeah."

"Done with these, too." He turned over his shoulder where two women from Crimson Manor's cooking staff were coming out with the buns and setting them up near the condiments. "Kids! Nadine, Elizabeth. Time to eat!"

"In a minute," Jake called, making Johnny smirk as Jason rolled his eyes. On his hands and knees now, he bashed one truck into another and made whooshing noises. Cameron, who was sprawled out in the hammock with his game system, put it down and started walking over.

"I thought you were hungry," Johnny yelled, taking the burgers and dogs off the grill and letting the cooks assemble them for everyone. "What happened to that?"

"In a minute," Jake repeated, making siren noises as he pushed a fire truck closer to the wreck. "I'm coming!"

"You put him near trucks or cars and he's good for the rest of the day," Jason murmured. "We can't get him to do anything else. Jake! Come on, son, it's getting cold!"

Even from a distance, they could practically hear his beleaguered sigh. "_Fine_. Lemme just have the fire truck put out the fire first."

"Destructive little guy," Johnny mused.

Jason spared him a wry look. "He's why everything at the penthouse is bolted down."

"Hm. You know, I always wondered why that was."

~*~*~*~*~*~

Lunch had been a long, lazy affair and passed without incident. Jake had wolfed down a burger and a hot dog and then asked what was for dessert, earning another weary scolding from Elizabeth. Nadine, however, had been quick to pull out the firecracker popsicles and the ice cream, and the kids were satisfied. Jules had fallen asleep on her little blanket right by her father but Amalia was still quite active. Johnny had her trapped between his legs and would always shift and pull her back when she tried to crawl out of the maze. It was a game he played with her often enough, although she'd soon be a bit too big.

Hayden, who was tossing a football around with the other guards, was the first one that noticed their newest visitors. "Hey, John – Claudia."

He looked over across the yard and sure enough, there was his sister with little Spencer in tow. Most people wore jeans and tennis shoes to a picnic like this one, but Claudia was dressed in one of her usual pencil skirts and blouses. She had, however, switched her stiletto heels for stacked ones, the most she was willing to go in terms of letting comfort and leisure dictate her fashions.

He let Amalia crawl away toward Elizabeth and got up, dusting off his jeans. "Hey, Claudie. Spence. Where's Nikolas?"

"His meeting ran longer than he thought it would, so he told me to go ahead and stuck me with the brat," she replied.

Spencer, who had been clicking away on his own Nintendo DS, paused and looked up at her sternly. "I am _not_ a brat."

"My mistake," Claudia corrected breezily. "I meant, pretentious, ridiculously coiffed man-child."

Spencer's gaze became heavy-lidded and the ten year old replied stiffly, "I think I prefer brat. And there's nothing wrong with my hair."

"You know that oil spill in the Port Charles Harbor last week?" Claudia asked her brother. "That was Spence washing out his hair."

"I wear _gel_," he squawked indignantly. "Not oil! There's a big difference!"

Johnny took pity on the boy and patted his back, urging him toward the others. "Go on, ignore her. We all do. Cam's over there, and Jake's around here somewhere. Go on. I'll have the maid fix you a burger."

"No pickles and a little extra mustard, please?" He walked away when Johnny nodded, but not before thanking him.

"Come on, Claudie," Johnny sighed, ushering her over to the group. "Have a seat."

"Oh, God, I was hoping the Oatmeals left already," she said, not bothering to lower her voice. Elizabeth rolled her eyes and Jason just looked at her, and Claudia sniffed when Nadine offered her a corner of the blanket. "John, go get me something that normal people sit on, would you?"

She remained standing over them until he brought her a chair, then sat down primly. "Who do I have to maim around here to get some food?"

Elizabeth glared sharply at her when Cameron looked over, hearing the violent term, but Claudia couldn't have cared less. A few steps away, Jake giggled.

"I'll get you a hot dog," Nadine said, rising to her feet. "Ooh, and you have to have relish on it. I made it myself – old fashioned piccalilli, just like on the farm. It's amazing."

Claudia wrinkled her nose. "Can I have something that at least passes as edible? Or is that too much to ask? You know what? Forget it, just hand me a corn cob and a bottle of moonshine. It'll be great because when I'm done with it, I'll fashion it into a pipe."

"Beer and hot dog coming up," Johnny told her. "_Extra piccalilli._"

Jake chortled at that, drawing Claudia's attention. "Hey – what are you laughing at?"

"You."

Nadine cut in loudly before Claudia could pick a fight with a seven year old, as she often did. "Here, Claudie, take Lia. She missed you while you were in Milan."

Claudia reached out immediately for her niece and Amalia bounced excitedly on her knee, holding up a few blades of grass that she'd plucked out. "Yes, those are very nice. Now, prove to me that your father has more influence over your life and your genetics than your mother by _not_ eating them. Oh, there's my good girl."

Nadine rolled her eyes as Amalia tossed the grass away, babbling now about Kane, who was off playing with the guards. The little girl kept Claudia occupied while she ate, hot dog in one hand and the other hand keeping her balanced on her knee, and the next half hour went by in peace.

"You want ice cream?" Claudia tickled Amalia's stomach and snapped for Nadine's attention. "We want ice cream. Something normal, like strawberry."

Nadine rolled her eyes. "Claudia, every time you come here, I always serve you strawberry ice cream. And you only eat it after it's all melted because you spend twenty minutes making sure it's not something weird like – like mulberry or blackberry or-"

"Huckleberry," her sister-in-law filled in. "What? God only knows what you farm people eat. _This_ is precisely why I ask for a menu before you guys invite me over for dinner. So that I don't end up eating – I don't know – muskrat kabobs and Cheeto casseroles and washing it all down with a bucketful of gopher gravy or something."

Jason and Elizabeth, both of whom were wondering how anyone could put up with this sort of abuse, watched Nadine's hands curl into fists. Still, her voice remained sweet and chipper. "You know, after six years, most people would have moved on from stereotypical characterizations of rural America for an easy laugh."

"I'm committed to excellence," Claudia smiled, tickling the bottom of Amalia's foot to make her laugh. "And I go for longevity. We still don't have our huckleberry ice cream."

Nadine grumbled uncomplimentary things under her breath and walked back to the outdoor freezer to get the ice cream, and Claudia resumed playing with Amalia. The little girl was squealing with laughter by the time she got back with the ice cream cone, and Claudia took it from her.

"Okay, here, this is how we'll do it so you don't make too much of a mess." Claudia settled the girl comfortably in her lap then crossed her leg and put her ankle on her other knee, holding the baby in place. She swept her finger around the base of the ice cream on the cone and put it to Amalia's lips, letting her lick it off.

"See? You like strawberry, don't you? It's so much better than that Chunky Monkey Death By Chocolate stuff your mother eats in public." She grinned when Amalia opened her mouth for more. "Real ladies have sophisticated flavors like French vanilla bean and cinnamon and strawberry parfait when they're eating ice cream in public, flavors like that. Chunky Monkey Death By Chocolate is meant for midnight binges on the floor of the pantry followed by midnight purging sessions."

Johnny closed his eyes, shaking his head. "…We're going to have to put her through so much therapy…"

Nadine, similarly, wasn't amused. "Lia or Claudie?"

"…Can't it be both?"

Jason, who made it a point to rarely be around Johnny and Nadine when Claudia was in the vicinity, was trying to analyze this family dynamic and wasn't having much luck coming up with anything.

Jake was done finally done imaginarily-demolishing most of the trucks Johnny had set up for him, and wandered back over to the adults. "Can I have another popsicle? Hot out here."

"I'll get it," Jason volunteered, hopping to his feet as his wife glared at him for seizing the most convenient way to get away from Claudia and not taking her with him.

Corwin, who was coming out of the house just then and liked to needle the rival enforcer, called out in a tone that was exaggerated in its friendliness, "Hey, don't worry about it, Jason, I got the kid covered. You just sit. Enjoy. Have fun."

Jason glared at him – hard – but Corwin wasn't the sort to be intimidated and actually grinned back, knowing just how much the other man despised Claudia. He handed the popsicle to Jake and went back to playing football with Hayden, Max, Ritchie, and Simon.

Jake handed the frozen treat to his mother to unwrap for him and noticed Amalia's sun hat on the ground. The baby watched, her mouth open mid-lick, as he stooped to pick it up, brushing off the grass, and she let out an overjoyed squeal when he carefully set it on her head after brushing her dark curls out of her face.

Jake made a face. "Seriously? She still does that when I touch her?"

Johnny was pulling a similar face. "She must still like you. I wish I could figure out why..."

Claudia was looking similarly disgusted. "Wait, that's still going on? She's still in raptures over the middle Oatmeal? John, how could you let this happen?"

"Oh, bite me."

Nadine clucked and tickled her daughter's chin as Amalia reached for Jake. Being a boy and a little more than six years older than her, he backed away so fast that he almost tripped over his father's shoe before Jason caught him. Elizabeth tried to hide her smile but didn't do a particularly good job at it. Neither did her husband.

Amalia made a displeased noise and batted her hand in Jake's direction, apparently not happy that he wasn't close by anymore. Nadine sighed and looked in exasperation at Jake as he stuck his tongue out at the baby. "Jacob Morgan, you're going to break her heart one day."

He shrugged. "Not on purpose."

Jason rolled his eyes and swatted his son's behind, sending him off with his popsicle to go pretend-demolish the rest of the trucks by having them blow up or fall off a ravine or something. "Sorry about that."

Claudia was scowling at no one in particular. "We've got to breed some taste in this girl – then things like that wouldn't happen. You don't let her spend enough time with me, that's what the problem is."

"Claudia, if ever there was a problem," her brother replied plainly, "that would never be it."

"Oh, be quiet. I hope she _does_ grow up exactly like me and that you get a head full of gray hairs by the time you're forty. So there."

Amalia was still staring after Jake, and Claudia finally managed to distract her with some more ice cream. She waited for the baby to finish her mouthful, holding the cone in her free hand with the other on her back, and frowned at Jason.

"That kid of yours – you better do something about him."

"Claudia, please-" Nadine tried, but as it turned out, she didn't have to.

Jake, who had wandered back over because his popsicle was dripping, frowned at Claudia. "I'm fine the way I am."

She looked at him as if it was the stupidest thing she ever heard. "No, you're not."

"Yuh-huh," he replied, handing the drippy, sticky popsicle to Jason and licking the blue liquid off his fingers. Claudia grimaced. "I know I'm fine the way I am, and nothing you say is going to change that."

The older woman sent a wide, sickly smile his way, leaning in just a little. "When you were a year old, I kidnapped you and your mom and told your dad I'd shoot you both if he didn't do what I wanted. I almost did, too."

Elizabeth and Jason balked, and even Johnny and Nadine were shocked that Claudia would come out and say that to a child so young. So stunned were they that none of them could form a coherent response and instead looked at Jake, trying to gauge his reaction.

His sandy brows were furrowed, his lower lip sticking out, as he mulled this revelation over. Then, sticking his nose in the air, he sent her a withering look. "Yeah? Well, your shoes are ugly."

Claudia's jaw dropped in horror, and it took her a minute to compose herself. "You might think they're prettier if I beat you with one of them."

"Okay, that's enough," Jason interrupted, gently turning his son around and pointing him back toward Cameron and Spencer. "Go play. Try not to break things."

Johnny let out an exasperated breath as soon as the boy was out of earshot. "Really, Claudia? Really?"

"What?" she asked innocently. "He'd have found out sooner or later. Oh, Jesus, oh, no."

This was directed at Amalia. While the rest of them were involved in the fight Claudia picked with her former rival's son, the baby had been covetously gazing at the ice cream cone her aunt held. When it became clear that Claudia had no intention of giving her another lick, she'd taken matters into her own hands and, leaning forward, mushed her face into the strawberry. Her nose, cheeks, and lips were now covered in the pink ice cream and she was happily licking it away as Claudia wrinkled her nose in disgust.

She handed the cone to Jason, who took it only because he didn't realize she was giving it to him until it was in his hand, and picked the baby up under her arms, holding her far out and away from her body. "Hey. John, Nadie. You know how you guys are thinking about having more of these? I give you, Exhibit A."

They both glared at her.

"No, seriously," she said, wiggling Amalia, who giggled and slurped away. "I'm giving her to you. She's all icky now."

Claudia waited until Nadine had taken her daughter away and then turned to Jason, shaking her head with feigned camaraderie. "Kids, right?"

Jason glared.

"Claudie?" Spencer was the one to save her from one of Jason's threats. "I cut myself somehow…I don't know where or-"

She grumbled under her breath and reached for his arm. "Let me see. Oh, jeez, what were you doing?"

"Well, if I knew that, I-"

"Oh, never mind." She grabbed her purse and pulled out a little case that held what looked to be circular baby wipes but were in fact her nail polish remover pads. It took her a few seconds to clean off the cut by his elbow as Spencer squirmed, and Johnny saw, much to his amazement, that she actually had band-aids in her purse, too.

Claudia slapped one on and made sure it stuck right before waving him off, and watched Spencer trot back to the hammock where Cameron was. Feeling her brother's eyes on her, she narrowed her eyes at him and slunk down in her chair.

"Oh, shut up." She crossed her arms over her chest, looking quite put out. "This is exactly why I don't like kids."

"Could've fooled me."

"I told you, shut up."

Nadine returned with Amalia just then, who was starting to yawn now that she was all cleaned up. "Elizabeth, if you want to put Jules inside…"

The nurse nodded and carefully scooped up her sleeping child, careful not to wake her. "Yeah, let's do that. Jason, could you clean Jake up?"

"I'll show you where the bathroom is," Johnny volunteered, standing up as well. "Boys, get over here, come on."

Jake inched closer to the adults but kept a wary eye on Amalia, who was staring at him with rapt attention. "What? Why do I have to wash up? I'm not dirty."

"You're sticky," his father corrected, setting both hands on the boy's shoulders. "Cam, you, too. Come on, come inside for a bit. You'll get sunburned if you're not careful."

Spencer followed, too, and, remembering something, tugged on Claudia's skirt. "Where are your horses? You said you had horses."

"See that trail over there?" She pointed to a dirt pathway that wound around to the side of the house. "If you follow it all the way down, that's where my stables and the pasture are."

This interested Cameron. "How many horses do you have here?"

Claudia looked at John, who was counting in his head. "Eight, I think. They're getting older; we haven't bought any new ones or put any out to stud for some time."

"Lazy," Spencer tsked. "Horse breeding isn't something you can do when you feel like it. You have to plan-"

"Yeah, yeah, your Highness, we get it," she interrupted, absently rubbing his band-aid into place. "Regale me with your tales of equine mating habits later. If you want to check them out, let's go now."

"Can I come, too?" Cameron piped up suddenly, looking around hesitantly when the adults all looked at them. "…I like horses."

"Yeah, you can come," Claudia shrugged. "Why not? Just put that game thing away. The beeps spook Spencer's horses at Wyndemere and I don't want to find out if ours are the same way or not."

"Can I, Mom?"

Elizabeth looked at Jason, then warily at Claudia. "Well…"

"I'll go with them," Johnny volunteered hurriedly, earning a grateful look from Cameron and an unamused one from his sister. "It's fine."

"Make sure it's okay with your folks that you ride one," she told him breezily, slinging her purse higher up on her shoulder as she waved Spencer closer. "We don't need any lawsuits against the family, thanks."

Jason nodded when Cameron looked at him, then glanced at Johnny. "I think I'll come, too."

"Me, too," Jake announced before Claudia could snark off at his father. "I want to ride one real fast. Like Zorro!"

"I don't know what that is, and frankly, I resent the implication," Claudia told him.

"Mexico's Batman, duh," the boy snorted. "What planet are you from?"

"Actually, Zorro was from California," Spencer interjected. "Spanish colonial-era California."

"Same thing."

Claudia looked down at the young prince. "He's kind of got you there."

"Oh, he does not. There are big differences between Spain and Mexico. Just because everything south of San Francisco is the same to you-"

She rolled her eyes and turned toward the house. "Just wait here while I change, okay? Don't go on without me."

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose when Claudia was out of earshot. "What's she changing into? Or do I not want to know?"

"Her riding kit," Nadine replied automatically. "She doesn't ever go riding without the proper outfit and a helmet and a crack and everything. Her cousin was thrown when he was a kid and died on the spot, so she's very careful about safety. And if she's taking the boys riding, she's not going to just watch from the sidelines. She'll ride alongside to make sure they've got the hang of it."

The answer surprised Elizabeth and she nodded slowly. "Oh." Then, "that's nice of her."

"Like I said, she takes safety at the stables very seriously," Nadine shrugged.

"I want to ride on the biggest one," Jake announced, holding his arms up to show just how big. "And I wanna go really, really fast."

"You'll be riding with me," Jason informed him as his son pouted, "if you want to ride on a big one. Or you can ride on a smaller one by yourself."

"…Smaller ones can still go fast, right?" Jake waited until Johnny nodded. "Okay, small one by myself."

Jason was still rolling his eyes by the time Claudia came down again, dressed in her white riding pants and blouse.

"All right, we've got helmets in the stables, and if you're not wearing one, you're not riding anything larger than the dog," she said, waving the boys forward. Johnny waited a bit and then fell grabbed her elbow.

"You sure you wanna do this?"

She shrugged guiltily. "I promised Spencer that the first time he came to my real house, I'd let him ride my horses."

Johnny shrugged and waved her on, not surprised when Jason immediately followed. It was obvious that there was no way the enforcer would leave her alone with his children. "You girls good?"

"We're going to put the babies to bed and then have some iced tea," Nadine smiled. "You guys go on, have fun."

Elizabeth patted Jules on the back when she snuffled, already heading into the house, and Johnny watched her go. He leaned in and kissed his wife quickly, wiggling her brows. "So…first family picnic – not a complete, abject failure, right?"

"I don't know," she grinned, pretending to consider it. "You've got Jason and Claudia in a confined space to deal with. If they haven't killed each other in an hour, I think we can write it off as a success."

Johnny grinned back and smoothed a hand over his daughter's unruly curls. "…Same time next year? What do you say?"

Nadine's smile was radiant as Amalia grabbed onto her father's hand. "I'd say it definitely looks promising."

**The End.**

**Author's Note – **God, how I loved this story and its characters. Thanks for loving them with me.


End file.
